When you were a teenager, you probably didn’t worry about what a guy was like in text form. You’d instead see how he treated his friends at the lunch table or what he said to you during the movie previews before The Ring. Now, though, there’s an entire level of communication you have to worry about. Whether you know each other in real life or you’re trawling Tinder for some locals, texts can be super eye-opening to how someone will treat you. They can even weed out some crazies! These texting red flags will help you avoid the duds.
He wants to know what you’re doing every time you’re not together. Inquiring about your day isn’t a bad thing… unless he does it every time you’re not together. Does he want to know where you are and who you’re with at all times? Either you’ve got an overprotective controlling guy on your hands, or you’re talking to someone that’s super insecure. Either way, if he asks you what you’re doing several times a day, that’s a major texting red flag.
He sends one-word answers. If you’ve already met the guy and know he can carry a conversation, that’s one thing. But if this is a Tinder or OKCupid match and he can’t string more than one or two words together, that’s trouble. You’re not hitting it off, that’s for sure.
He asks weirdly personal questions. There’s no reason why he needs to know your mom’s maiden name or what laundromat you go to. Run for the hills if the personal questions start to creep you out.
He shows the typing bubble followed by hours or days of silence. There’s a trick making the rounds out there. Guys who want to manipulate girls into “needing” them will type one letter (so the typing bubble pops up) then leave their phone alone, all so you sit there wondering what they’re doing. They want you to hang all over them through texts, and that stuff’s rude. These are the same guys that use “negging,” and they should be avoided at all costs.
He’s constantly texting late at night. Is he only texting you super late at night? Either he’s only interested in you because he wants a booty call, or he’s already in a relationship and is trying to hide his texting. Moral of the story: He’s a dud.
He has great conversations… but only in text. You know the guy in real life. You’ve spent time together. Yet he’s so much more charming in text-form. In real life, he can’t hold a conversation to save his life. This is a huge clue that your chemistry isn’t translating into the real world. Let it go.
He doesn’t start or end conversations. Are you always the one to text first? For that matter, are you always the last to send a text, too? He’s either not into you, or he has no idea how texting works.
He sends unsolicited pics of his junk Really? He just sends you a picture of his junk without any prompting from you? Did he even ask first? Who cares how hot the guy is. Ditch him.
He won’t use his phone in front of you. If he puts his phone on airplane mode whenever he visits you, it’s not so he can spend more time with you. It’s so the names of his side chicks don’t pop up on his screen. So if he never texts in front of you, and never lets you go anywhere near his phone, you should start worrying.
It takes him days to respond. If it takes him days to respond to your texts, you’re clearly not his top priority. If he really liked you, then he would find the time to type up a quick message, even if he was busy at work. It’s not that difficult for him to do.
He double texts. If he texted you five minutes ago, and then texts you again asking if you received his last message, it’s a major red flag. It’s nice to have a boyfriend who cares about you, but you don’t want someone who’s obsessive. If he can’t wait ten minutes for a response, he’s too attached.
He only texts when he’s drunk. If you only receive late night messages from him that are misspelled, he’s hoping you’ll have sex with him. If he wanted an actual relationship with you, he’d talk to you more often. Drunk texts suggest he’s looking for a booty call.
He erases all of his texts. If he lets you handle his phone, and you notice that he doesn’t have any messages in his inbox, it means he deleted every text after he read them. That’s some suspicious behavior, because it usually only happens when he has something to hide. Something like an affair.
He always asks for nudes. If he only texts you to ask for nudes—or even worse, sends you random penis pictures—you shouldn’t bother to respond to him. A guy like that is only interested in sex. Unless you’re looking for a one-night stand, keep your distance from him.
He’s on social media, but won’t text. If he hasn’t responded to your texts, but he’s been writing clever Tweets all day, he’s definitely seen your messages. He’s just choosing not to respond to them. That means that he doesn’t care about what you have to say, so why should you care about him?
He phubs you. If he phone snubs you, head for the door. When you’re out on a date, you should be the only thing worth paying attention to. If he finds his phone more interesting than you, don’t hesitate to call it quits.
If you call him, he texts back. If you try to call him, but he responds with a text instead, then he might be out with another girl. He doesn’t want to answer, because he doesn’t want you to hear her voice. Of course, he might just hate phone calls.