8 Things That Don’t Matter When You Finally Find Your Soulmate

8 Things That Don’t Matter When You Finally Find Your Soulmate ©iStock/Peter Chernaev

It’s normal to have expectations about how your life will play out once you meet Mr. Right — how you’ll meet, fall deeply in love, get married, and live your own version of happily ever after. The truth is, it’ll probably be nothing like you imagined. You never know when your soulmate will come, but when he does, none of the following will matter anymore:

  1. Where you met. Whether you’ve met your significant other in a bar or at your local church, it doesn’t matter. The place where you’ve crossed each other’s paths is nothing but that — a place. It might hold a special place in your hearts because it’s where you met, but that’s it. It’s really not worth worrying about or trying to coordinate.
  2. How you met.So maybe the circumstances surrounding your first meeting were really complicated beyond description — maybe you met via Tinder or Craigslist or you were sat next to each other at the dentist’s office. Why would you stress yourself about that? What matters most is you fell in love.
  3. What people around you will say. Remember that Eleanor Roosevelt quote that goes, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people”? That’s the perfect explanation of why you shouldn’t waste your energy minding what other people will say. People will always have opinions about you, but that’s all they are — opinions. You don’t need to explain your choices to them or anyone else.
  4. Who made the first move.Society dictates that it’s men who should make the first move. Screw that. You’re a strong woman who knows what she wants and how to get it, so if you’re the one who made the first move in your relationship, be proud and celebrate that you found Mr. Right and went out there and got him.
  5. Whether or not the timing was perfect. So, your life wasn’t where you want it the moment you met. Maybe you were struggling with a painful breakup or you just lost your job. Maybe you were on a dating spree, bouncing from one date to another. So what? Things rarely happen when we want them to, but they always happen when they’re meant to.
  6. How far apart you live. You’ve met your S.O. and you know that he’s The One. There’s just one problem: you live thousands of miles away from each other. You started wondering how you can be with someone you can’t be with every day. While long distance relationships are never easy, they are possible, so long as you’re actively working on bridging the gap with a clear end in sight.
  7. How old you are, how old your partner is, and how many years are between you. The important reason you shouldn’t be bothered about your S.O. being 10 years younger or older than you is this: age difference doesn’t determine your relationship’s success. Your ages are nothing but numbers, not a sign of your maturity or compatibility.
  8. How many people you have or haven’t slept with in the past.Your choice to remain a virgin until you meet your soulmate is one thing nobody can question. Yes, we live in a hook up culture where almost everybody’s goal is to get laid. However, being a virgin is admirable and shouldn’t be a deal breaker with your S.O. If he or she is really the right one for you, it’s a subject you shouldn’t have to defend yourself about. Same goes with the opposite — if you’ve played the field a bit, you’re perfectly entitled. What matters is the present.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.