Ladies, there’s nothing better than doing something nice for yourself. There are plenty of things we do just for us, but no matter how many times we tell them that no, these yoga pants are not made to make your penis hard, some guys just don’t get it. Newsflash: we’re not always thinking about you.
- We keep our hair and makeup on point. Is it that hard to believe that we make ourselves up because we like it? Classy up ‘dos and a flawless eyeliner game take skill, and these are things that we pride ourselves on learning. While we appreciate the admiration, guys, our daily hair and makeup routine is not meant for you.
- We like to make fashion statements. We like to feel pretty and express ourselves, and clothes are another way to do it. Whether it’s through skin-tight leggings or off-the-shoulder tops, we each have our own personal style that we like to show off. And don’t even get me started on shoes. Have you ever even been inside a shoe-lover’s closet? You can’t possibly imagine we’d spend so much money on shoes just so a man can notice us. These heels are for me, not you.
- We dress for comfort, not seduction. Some guys like it when we wear less makeup, or leave the house in jeans and oversized hoodies. “I like a woman who looks natural,” they say. Well, that’s all well and good, but it’s still not for you. If we’re out and dressed down, it’s probably because we’re feeling lazy, on our periods, or any number of other reasons that have nothing to do with you.
- Lingerie ain’t just for foreplay. This is usually worn under the clothes, where guys can’t even see! Lingerie is our secret, sexy power weapon. A woman wearing this is investing in herself, turning her into a blazing trail of confidence. If a woman does admit to wearing lingerie for you, it’s probably for one of four occasions: your birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or an anniversary. Consider it a gift, not a given.
- Working out makes us feel good, too. Gyms have a horrible reputation for being a beacon of unwanted male attention. Us fit femmes can’t get any peace while working out, an activity that we do for our own health and well-being, might I add. It’s hard to concentrate on our reps when some man’s leering eyes are staring at our T&A. Besides, we’re all sweaty and gross, if we’re doing it right; definitely not the best time to try and pick us up.
- We love letting our hair down. If we’re hitting the bar or the club with our girls, it’s time for us to let loose and unwind. We’re interested in catching up and hitting the dance floor, not in you hitting on us. Ever heard the song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”? If not, you should give it a listen. When you see us in a cluster, don’t even think about trying to insert yourself. That fortress of females is an impenetrable defense against your unwelcome advances; we go out in groups for a reason. And trust us: if we were looking, a seedy bar or club is probably the last place we would think to go.
- If we kiss other women, it’s for our own pleasure. It’s as if being a lesbian/bisexual/attracted-to-anyone-of-the-same-sex just isn’t a thing for women. Katy Perry’s anthem rings true: “I kissed a girl and I liked it.” I liked it. Not you. And no, you cannot watch, and no, you certainly cannot join in – so PLEASE stop asking us to have a threesome. Our sexuality is not for your viewing (or participatory) pleasure.
- Being friendly does not mean being flirtatious. Women like hanging out and making new friends, too. A lot of guys, when on the receiving end of a woman’s friendliness, come to the conclusion, “Dude, she’s totally into me.” Uh, no, she probably just didn’t want to come across as a rude bitch. Or she did really like you – but as a potential friend only. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Unfortunately, some guys continue to misinterpret our friendliness for sexual attraction, which can lead to the (horribly chronic) Nice Guy Syndrome. If a woman is being friendly towards you, it’s best to take it at face value: she, in all likelihood, really is just being friendly. Trust me, if we were trying to get into your pants, you’d know.