8 Things You Need To Hear When You’re Coming Out Of A Breakup

Breakups seriously suck, and readjusting to the single life again can be tough to say the least, especially when the last time you were rolling solo, things like Tinder and ghosting didn’t actually exist. It can be overwhelming and even intimidating when you’re trying to get back on your feet, but it doesn’t have to be that way — you just need to remember these 8 things when everything feels impossible:

  1. Being Single Isn’t all bad news. Just because the adjustment to single life isn’t much fun doesn’t mean that single life itself can’t be. In fact, there are plenty of perks to being unattached if you keep an open mind. Suddenly, all the time and energy you used to spend on your relationship is suddenly up for grabs again, and you can use it on old and new friends, hobbies, goals, etc. The world really is your oyster — crack it open and make the most of it.
  2. It’s okay if you don’t remember (or never learned) how to flirt. Some girls just have a natural propensity for flirting. Pickup lines roll off their tongue and they’ve somehow figured out a way to bat their lashes without looking like a serial killer, but so what if that’s not you? You’ve got plenty of other charming qualities, and the longer you’re back on the horse, the more comfortable you’ll get with flirting. You don’t need to be great at it to date again — and besides, that isn’t your first priority after a breakup, anyway.
  3. There is No Pressure To “Get Back Out There.” Sometimes you need a break from love and take time to heal and move on before putting yourself back out there and looking for someone new. Taking time to yourself is the best way to do this, and it ensures that you won’t bounce around from rebound to rebound — that’s not healthy for you or the guys you end up dating! There’s no time limit on finding love, so don’t force yourself to get back out there before you’re truly ready.
  4. Sleeping alone again is an adjustment — it’s normal to miss his warmth. When you’re used to being snuggled up in his arms and waking up to his open mouths snoring, it’s no wonder that you find yourself awake at 2am, questioning whether it’s insomnia or his lingering cologne on the pillow next to you. Throw those sheets in the wash, and while you’re at it, throw anything else that might remind you of your ex away too! It’s often the little things that make you miss him, and “out of sight, out of mind” really does work here.
  5. You’re not going crazy, but it’s normal to feel that way. While your BFFs might be over the moon that your awful ex is finally out of your life, that doesn’t mean you have to feel the same. You probably do most of the time, and then five seconds later you’re sure breaking up with him was the worst mistake you’ve ever made. Five minutes after that, you hate his guts with the fire of a thousand suns… before breaking down in tears. Yes, it feels like you’re going crazy, but you’re not really. Your emotions will eventually even out, but it makes sense to be all over the place for a while.
  6. Missing Him Doesn’t Mean You Made The Wrong Decision. He was a central part of your life, so it’s understandable if you start missing him when your favorite TV show comes on, or that meme that you used to always laugh at together shows up on your Instagram feed. In these moments, you need to remember that missing him doesn’t mean that you should still be together. Missing him merely means that he was important to us and the relationship wasn’t all bad. It’s okay to keep the good memories while letting go of the relationship.
  7. Being Single Is Better Than Being In A Bad Relationship. Now that you’re free from the chains of that terrible relationship, you can finally open yourself up to the possibility of having an amazing one with a guy who’s worth your time and realizes how lucky he is to have you. Being newly single means new adventures, new opportunities and ultimately, new people in your life. It’s an opportunity, not a curse — and wouldn’t you much rather be on your own than with someone who makes you miserable?
  8. You’re not alone. Now is the time to really revel in the company of your friends. They’ve probably really missed you while you were caught up in the drama of your relationship with your now-ex, and you probably missed them too. Now that you have more time on your hands, you can invest it in the people who’ve been there for you the longest, through thick and thin. Spending time with people who love you is the fastest and best way to recover from a broken heart.
Body Confidence Activist, Creator of Scarred Not Scared and Founder of MIndset For Life.