While many women prefer guys who are outgoing and affable, shy and somewhat nerdy guys can also make for great boyfriends. As a shy guy myself, I feel like not enough women recognize what we bring to the table or all of the subtle intricacies that come with dating one of us. To combat this, let me share a few things that women should know about great guys who just happen to be a little more timid.
We’re great listeners. I’ve always been told that women like great listeners. If that’s true, then why aren’t more of you into the shy, quiet type? Since we don’t like talking that much or being the center of attention, we tend to be great listeners. We’re not constantly thinking about what to say next or steering the conversation in a certain way. That frees us up to give you our undivided attention and listen closely to what you’re saying. I know, that sounds like a brag but it’s true.
We remember (almost) everything. Since we’re such good listeners, we shy guys are able to remember just about everything you tell us. I mean, we don’t have perfect memories, but it’s amazing what you can remember when you actually pay attention to someone. Of course, this can be both good and bad. If you lie or try to mislead us early in the relationship, we’ll remember if you change your tune later. That’s not meant to be a threat, just know that you can’t slip anything past us.
Silence can be pleasant. This is where I think shy guys get the short end of the stick. A lot of people tend to associate a good date with non-stop conversation, but that’s not usually going to be the case with a shy and reserved gentleman. However, sometimes that silence can be pleasant. With a shy guy, that silence doesn’t mean that we won’t like you or don’t want to talk. It’s just not in our nature to feel like we need to fill every moment of silence with words. If you give it a chance, you might find that just being around someone you like in peace and quiet can be perfectly pleasant.
We’re not hiding things, but you have to ask. Elsewhere on the talking front, don’t expect shy guys to just blurt out their life stories. In fact, we’re usually not that comfortable leading the conversation, nor do we like to volunteer a lot of personal information. This may seem like we’re secretive and hiding something, but that’s not necessarily the case. We’ll open up, but you have to lead the way and ask the right questions.
Be careful with big groups. This one should be obvious but it doesn’t hurt to mention anyway. We’re usually not super comfortable in or around large groups of people, especially if we don’t know many of those people. That means you’ll probably want to introduce your boyfriend to friends and family members one or two people at a time. Don’t bring him to a family reunion and say, “Meet everybody I know.” The same goes for large gatherings of your friends when he doesn’t’ know anybody but you.
We’re homebodies. This is another obvious one, but it’s not to be forgotten. For the record, we aren’t agoraphobic. We just prefer a night in with our significant other rather than a night out. Going to crowded bars and clubs just isn’t out jam. That being said, most of us will go along with this every now and then to make you happy. Just keep in mind that we prefer a nice dinner and a movie date or a quiet night in.
We’re confident but need reassurance. While some of us lack confidence on the outside, most of us are comfortable with who we are. That being said, we’re not always sure if other people appreciate us. If you’re dating a shy guy, it’s important to let him know that you like and appreciate him. I’m not saying we need daily affirmations, but if we get assurance that you like us for who we are, we’ll be a little more likely to come out of our shells.
You’ll probably need to make the first move. As you might be able to guess, shy guys aren’t always super comfortable making the first move. That means it could be up to you ladies to act first if you like a guy. Unless you can hint super hard, it’ll probably be up to you. But is that really the worst thing in the world. I mean, we’re 20 years into the 21st century, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal anymore, especially if it means giving us a break.