The journey to find love is crazy, and so are a lot of the dudes you’ll inevitably meet along the way. Men love to call women crazy, but they deserve the label so much more. Here are just a few of the types of guys you’ll likely encounter before you actually meet the right one.
- The “hot” narcissist who thinks he’s God’s gift to women. Can we just cut straight to the eye rolling? Sure, he has amazing abs, but it’s impossible to appreciate them behind his massive ego. He’s so self-absorbed that he spends more time checking himself out in the mirror than paying attention to the woman he’s with. If you want to bang him once just to see if he’s good, I understand, but don’t waste your time trying to have an actual relationship with someone who’s unable to love anyone but himself.
- The guy who throws money around to impress you but has the personality of a dishrag (or worse). This dude expects you to date him (and more) based solely on the fact that he has money; he’s basically assuming all women are gold diggers. As a strong independent woman, you’d have a nice dinner anyway, with or without his charity; you’re there to make a real connection. If he wants a second date, he’ll have to produce more than just cash, like a conversation that’s actually interesting.
- The unfixable “project dude” who lures you in with his sob story. He’d be the perfect boyfriend if only that terrible thing hadn’t happened, but now he’s permanently broken. He tells you he could love you if only he were capable of love, and then he begs you to be there for him because he needs you (but won’t commit to you). He guilts you into staying but gives you nothing, and uses his pain to justify treating you like crap. Don’t fall for it; plenty of people have gone through rough times and managed to not become jerks because of it.
- The shallow douche who can’t commit because he could meet someone hotter tomorrow. In the real world, personality is a factor as well. In fact, it’s far more important than appearance when it comes to solid long-term relationships. The obvious conclusion here is to run as fast you can in the opposite direction without wasting a second more of your time.
- The guy who likes you way too much and comes on so strong it’s scary. It’s great at first to get all the attention, but then it becomes too much, far too quickly. He doesn’t just text in the morning to say hello, he texts every second of every day and expects a play-by-play of your entire life. If you walk out of work at the end of the day and find 18 new voicemails and 30 texts from him, there’s something wrong. Run!
- The guy who pretends everything you say is fascinating because he wants sex. It’s so obvious when he does it because he says something completely patronizing and insincere, then attempts to change the subject to sex. Honestly, it would be more honorable to just be honest about only wanting sex than to pretend he gives a damn about your life in a desperate attempt to get laid.
- The Mama’s boy. He seems so sweet at first, because he is; then he takes you home after a date and whispers “We have to be quiet….don’t want to wake Mom.” Whoa, wait a minute! It’s awesomely endearing how much he loves his mom, but you also hope that he’s capable of being independent because you don’t want to be his new mom.
- The “Nice Guy.” The most characterizing thing about the “nice guy” is that he isn’t nice at all, but he claims to be. He constantly plays the victim and bitches about how women just don’t go for “nice guys” like him, then he’s a complete d-bag to women who do give him the time of day. He won’t admit it, but he likes the drama and he actually has no desire to be nice; it’s just a front.