Even though not every relationship can last forever, there are still certain ones I can look back on and only have positive things to say. Others, I wish I could erase from my memory altogether. Those are the ones where I still sometimes shake my head and go, “What was I thinking?” At least now I know what to avoid and a few of the red flags that might lead straight into of these 10 relationships I never want to find myself in again:
- The on-again, off-again relationship. The emotional roller coaster of an on-again off-again relationship might have been exciting when I was in my early 20s, but now that I’m almost 30, I don’t have the patience for it anymore. I’m finally at the point where I’m a lot more comfortable being single with no prospects than dealing with an unhealthy relationship I just can’t seem to shake.
- The one-sided relationship. It doesn’t matter which person is the one doing the majority of the work to keep a relationship afloat — if both people aren’t all in, there’s no point. Even if I’m just casually dating a guy, I want to be able to communicate with him and be on the same page with our expectations. Never knowing where I stand with a guy is the exact kind of stress I don’t need in my life.
- The good-enough-for-now relationship. It’s easy to fall into dating a guy I’m not really that into because sometimes being single can get really lonely. But ‘for now’ could turn into a year, and then two before I know it and by then I’ve already wasted too much time to break up without wondering if maybe I shouldn’t just suck it up and settle already. Just to be safe, I don’t even want to give myself the option to settle.
- The doomed relationship. There’s a point in a doomed relationship that I realize, “This is never going to work.” Unfortunately, I’ll often stick along a little while longer just in case everything changes. From now on, I’m going to work on trusting my instincts a little more and stop wasting my time on guys I know aren’t right for me.
- The no-strings-attached relationship. Not that there is anything wrong with a good FWB situation, I just know that at this point it’s not for me. If a guy isn’t interested in something more serious, there’s no point in keeping him in my life, no matter how great the sex may be.
- The in-it-for-the-wrong-reasons relationship. There are plenty of terrible reasons to be with someone — it’s easier than being alone, he’s part of my friend group, I’m afraid what he’ll do if we break up, etc. — but none of those reasons are going to make me happy. Maybe some people can live with the justifications of their bad relationship, but I can’t.
- The almost relationship. No one likes goes on dates, makes an effort to get to know someone and lets themselves get the tiniest bit invested just to have a relationship stall right before it turns official. The almost relationship is one of the worst realities of dating in general and things like ghosting and commitment issues don’t help. I never want to have that feeling of disappointment when a yet another relationship doesn’t quite take off again, but who am I kidding? I know I will.
- The codependent relationship. A healthy relationship is one where both people bring out the best in each other. A codependent relationship is one where both people enable each other’s bad behavior. Working on my issues is hard enough without a guy around who encourages me to continue to be terrible. It’s like an addict trying to get clean while living with someone who still does drugs on weekends. Why make life harder than it needs to be?