8 Ways Lazy Girls Pretend We’re Trying (When We’re Totally Not)

Being a girl is hard work. It’s no secret that we’re expected to look our best regularly, even though the reality is that we’ll never live up to our Instagram pictures with Valencia filters IRL. Even when you feel like a hot mess inside, it’s easy enough to slap on a fresh coat of mascara (or sunglasses to hide last night’s) and pretend you have it all figured out with these 8 easy tricks that all of us do every once in a while.

  1. Putting on workout gear when we’re not planning on doing anything active. Don’t feel like wearing actual pants? Throw on yoga pants and a tank top, and suddenly it looks like you’re attempting gym style. No one has to know that you’re actually spending on eating pizza in said yoga pants, or that the only marathon you plan on is the Netflix kind.
  2. Using enormous sunglasses to hide a rough night out. If you don’t feel like getting rid of last night’s makeup or you’re in the midst of a particularly regrettable walk of shame, all you need is to throw on enormous sunglasses that obscure half your face. You know the ones.
  3. Slapping on a sundress. Luckily, guys don’t realize that sundresses, much like yoga pants, require almost zero effort. It’s the easiest way to look like you actually care, when the reality is that you totally don’t give a damn (at least that day). This is far easier in the summer — otherwise, you’re probably wearing enough layers to be mistaken for a very elegant hobo.
  4. Pretending we “eat fresh” by buying tons of overpriced, organic produce. Yeah, you’re definitely focused on healthy living when it comes to upping your Instagram game… until it’s midnight and you’ve been sucking down sweet drinks all night and you end up with a pizza in your bed instead of a guy. I mean, you’re not so desperate to impress that you’d order only a salad on the first date, but you’ll certainly mention how often you do yoga (even if it was only that one time).
  5. At least attempting to dress like a grown up (especially when we’d rather wear jorts). Work doesn’t exactly call for heels and business suits anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can throw on a pair of leggings and call it a day. While you’re not quite ready to start shopping at Ann Taylor like an actual adult, you’ve started buying investment pieces instead of a plethora of going out shirts from Forever 21.
  6. Posting about working out on social media. Whether you’ve taken to tweeting about SoulCycle or you can’t go on a date without name dropping your multitude of Pure Barre classes, you want everyone to know that you are kind of, almost, in shape. No one needs to go that you maybe hit up the gym once a month… after all, you don’t want to become a CrossFit obsessed meathead, you’re just looking for bragging rights.
  7. Going on first dates all the time. By going out on real, live, actual grown up dates, people think you’re looking for love, even if the reality is that you’ve been single for what feels like forever. No one needs to know that you’re only looking for alcohol and a free meal. Hey, at least it helps you learn how to network? And it means that your parents are finally off your back about settling down.
  8. Throwing out all of our ancient underwear. Nothing says “trying” like getting rid of those Paul Frank panties from 8th grade. One day you’ll replace the soffes you sleep in with grown up nightwear and you’ll really have your life together, but until that day comes, at least you’re giving it the old college try.
Margaret is a freelance writer who covers pop culture and fashion in New York City and currently writes for Page Six's Style section. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, xoJane, and Racked. She tweets about her crippling caffeine addiction and teen TV obsession here: @margaretabrams