As a guy, I get that many of us can be reluctant to get into a committed relationship. While your instincts might be to trick a guy into committing or bugging him about it until he relents, the truth is that unless he actually wants to lock things down, it’s destined to fail. Fortunately, there are a few ways that you can gently nudge a guy in the right direction so that he wants a real relationship with you.
- Be a good (part-time) girlfriend. For a guy to want a relationship, you have to show him what it’ll be like. Even if you’re not official, try playing the role of the perfect girlfriend. Be there for him, be supportive of him, and be fun to be around. The catch is you only do that on a part-time basis. On days that you don’t see him, ignore him completely. This is the best way to show him that you’ll make a great girlfriend while also showing him what he’s missing. Sooner or later, it’ll dawn on him what he’s missing out on.
- Let him know what you want. Most guys prefer to be direct about things, so that’s the tactic you need to take most of the time. Don’t try to trick him or force him into a relationship, but do let him know that you’re interested in taking things to the next level. It’ll take away any chance of a guessing game. It will also put the ball in his court, which is what he wants. Ultimately, most guys want to make you happy, and letting him know that you want a relationship will give him the power to make that happen.
- Get close with his friends/family. If you want to nudge a guy closer to a relationship, try becoming a bigger part of his life. You can accomplish this by becoming tight with his family or friends. If you can get along with the people in his life, it’ll be easier for him to get on board with a relationship. It won’t feel so daunting and will feel like a natural step from his perspective.
- Keep things light. I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep your interactions light and fun. You don’t want to pressure him too much because it’ll just push him away. He’ll want a relationship if he thinks it’ll be fun. He doesn’t want things to get too serious or too “adult.” You have to sell him on the fun aspects of a relationship.
- Ask him for favors. Don’t ask for any major favors, just try to get him to do the little things that a boyfriend might do. Guys enjoy being needed and helpful; it makes us feel important. Doing small favors for you will help him feel connected to you. It will also make him slowly feel more comfortable with the idea of a relationship until he starts to want one too.
- Go out of town without him. Okay, so this is a little bit of a head game. But if you take a weekend road trip out of town with a few girlfriends or on your own, it’ll get his attention. It will reinforce that you have your freedom too and that he has no right to be upset that you went somewhere without him or without telling him. As long as you try not to make too big a deal of it and rub it in his face, you should get your message across. If your absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder, he might start to re-think your relationship status.
- Show why you’re special. If a guy needs convincing, sometimes you need to make everything about you. Remind him of all the ways that you’re special and better than anyone else he’s ever dated. A guy who prefers to avoid relationships will change his mind if he believes that there’s something special about you. Try to sell him on how great of a girlfriend you’d make.
- Keep things exciting in bed. Of course, so much of it will come down to sex. However, you don’t have to make it all about him. Instead, the best thing you can do is to simply enjoy yourself in whatever you do sexually. If you seem unhappy in the bedroom, the guy will think there is something off. He won’t want a relationship if he thinks the sex is bad. But if you’re into it, it’ll be easier for him to be into it and feel a connection with you. If a guy feels that connection and you’re both having a good time in the bedroom, he’ll be more likely to want an exclusive relationship.
