8 Ways The Dating Odds Are Stacked Against Women

Whenever I hear guys moan about how dating is so hard for them, I can’t help but laugh. Guys take the current world of dating for granted, and they don’t even realize that it’s actually women who have the greater disadvantage. Don’t believe me? Consider these things we have to put up with when looking for love:

  1. The “nuts” label. Guys call girls nuts when girls don’t do what the guy wants them to do. When a girl calls a guy out on his crap or is upset about anything the guy’s done, she’s going to be slapped with the “nuts” label. It’s the way guys discredit women, and sadly, it’s all too common in the dating world for guys to gaslight us so that we’ll accept less than what we deserve.
  2. The “Nice Guy” behavior. This is when a guy pretends to be your friend so he can get into your pants, and when you reject him, he flips out. Many guys actually do feel like they’re entitled to sex, regardless of whether or you even like them. It’s really bad when women are scared to say no in case they’re attacked verbally or physically.
  3. The OKCupid creeps. If you’ve ever seen screenshots of creepy messages guys give on sites like OKCupid, then you already know what I’m talking about. Some screenshots are creepy, some threatening, and others just plain gross. Amidst all this crapola that guys are sending us online, we’re supposed to find the one normal guy? The online dating pool needs chlorine. Badly.
  4. Nobody wants commitment. These days, you could have the looks of a model with the brains of a college professor and most guys will still tell you that they want to explore their options. With over 70% of men ages 18-34 now being unmarried, it’s safe to say that men these days hate the idea of truly settling down. There’s even an anti-marriage dating strike movement called Men Going Their Own Way. Seriously.
  5. Men are spoiled as hell. From what I’ve seen, men want it all in life. They want the hot girlfriend who cooks, cleans, has sex like a sex star, has amazing social status, and is totally cool with not being in an actual serious relationship. Guys keep saying that women have standards that are too high, but they don’t look in the mirror. I’ve never heard of a girl telling a guy that he has to stay jacked in order for her to be with him, but I have heard men tell women to “stay thin” in order for the relationship to continue.
  6. There aren’t enough Mr. Rights anymore. Simply put, a lot of behaviors that were once laughably unacceptable are now just too commonplace. I’m old school, and unfortunately, that means that a lot of the behaviors you have to put up with from a date are just not acceptable in my eyes. This leaves us ladies with a very, very small fraction of the male population to choose from… which also makes the competition for said guys ridiculously high.
  7. Slut-shaming, virgin shaming, single shaming, etc. Society finds a new way to shame women every day. If a girl acts like a guy, she’s a slut. If a girl waits until marriage, she’s a prude. If she’s single, she’s a nuts cat lady in training. If she’s a serial dater, she’s a wreck. If she’s a single mom, she’s a deadbeat. Like, in society’s eyes, there’s no way to win. Ever.
  8. The assumptions. I generally don’t wear makeup, because it feels gross. If I bring this up, girls and guys will tell me that I need to “love myself more” in order to get a date. People automatically assume that if you don’t fit a mold or you choose to opt out of certain trends, you hate yourself and will remain dateless. Seriously, can we end this? I know I’m awesome, and I know others who you claim don’t like themselves are awesome, too. I also know that they know they’re awesome. So, stop telling us we’re not.

Dating today sucks. Badly.  But, as bad as it is for men, it’s way worse for women. Trust me on this one.

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.