8 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Own Happiness

Happiness isn’t something that just happens to you. As much as that would be great, happiness is actually something we create. Even in the darkest of times, we can pick ourselves up and achieve happiness at least on some level, if we really work at it.

But if you don’t work toward trying to find happiness, it can totally pass you by. In doing that, you end up sabotaging your own happiness, and that’s no way to live your life. So chin up, makes some changes, and quit denying yourself a chance at being happy. Here’s what you’re doing wrong and need to fix stat.

  1. You focus on the down sides of things. Guess what? The glass is actually half-full, and if you constantly see it any other way, that’s how you’ll look at everything else. Negativity just breeds more negativity.
  2. You hold grudges longer than you should. Grudges require a lot of energy! Just think how that energy could be way better spent. Besides, anger is like a cancer on the soul – it just eats away at it until there’s nothing left.
  3. You have unrealistic goals for yourself. While it’s important to have goals and high ones, it’s the person who sets goals that are so out in left field that they never feel fulfilled. If you don’t have the voice to be the next Miley Cyrus, don’t keep reaching for that star. You need to move on and discover what you’re good at and set at goal from that point.
  4. You honestly believe you can change people. Breaking news: You can’t fix people, you can’t change people, and you definitely can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. That’s just a scientific fact. You will always feel defeated if you’re trying to save others.
  5. You never trust your instinct. Your gut exists for another reason besides eating mass amounts of pizza, so listen to it, go with it, and when your instinct tells you something is off, heed the warning. Nine times out of 10, it’s leading you away from trouble.
  6. You care what people think. You should not, like ever, give a damn about what other people think. People will always be judgmental, catty, and some will even rejoice when you fall. Screw them. Letting your happiness hang in the balance because of how others think of you is exhausting and will get you nowhere.
  7. You don’t know when to let go. Whether it a partner who treats you like crap or a toxic friendship, hanging on to people who tear you down is one of the biggest forms of sabotage you can allow. Just walk away.
  8. You don’t take any chances. Life is about taking risks and throwing chance to the wind. If you hate your job, make the necessary steps to change it. If you don’t like where you live, look into another place. If you’ve always wanted to travel but have no one to go with, pack your bags, take your vacation days, and do it solo. No one got anywhere without taking that risky first step. It’s better to be happy and not know what’s next, than be miserable knowing that tomorrow will be exactly the same.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.