8 Reasons Your Ex Just Won’t Go Away

You thought things were going great until he unceremoniously dumped you. It took a while, but you’ve finally put him behind you, moved on with your life and are excited about meeting someone new… except suddenly, he’s back. Ugh, why now?

  1. He misses you. He misses your kisses, your sweet text messages in between work hours, your I-just-called-to-say-I-love-you phone calls, and your overall awesomeness. Maybe he’s not getting that kind of affection and treatment from the girl he’s with (or he can’t find a girl at all), so he’s coming back to you.
  2. He’s sorry for the stuff he did. It took a while, but maybe he realizes what a loser he was for breaking your heart. He’s regretful of all the pain he’s caused you, is genuinely sorry, and wants to make it up to you. Or it could be that breaking up made him realize what he was missing and he’s back to let you know he’ll do whatever it takes to make you see that.
  3. He wants to prove himself. He knows he took you for granted and wants you to know that he’s not the losers he had been before. He’s mustered up the courage to return to try and convince you that he’s changed for the better. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s trying to get back in a relationship with you, though — it’s possible that he’s come back to just clean up the mess he created, but not to start over.
  4. He’s bored. The girl he replaced you with may have gone MIA on him. There’s nobody else in his life right now, and he remembers hos easy things were with you. He’s testing to see if you’ll be weak and dumb enough to play his game. (And you know you’re not, so you’ve got to show him how he’s hugely mistaken.)
  5. He’s jealousMaybe he spotted you having coffee with a guy he knew had romantic interests on you. He may have seen you seeing other people, too and now he’s suddenly jealous. Men are competitive creatures, and the thought of you with someone else kills him, even if you’re not even together anymore.
  6. He’s seen that you’ve moved on. There are guys who are egoistical, possessive, and selfish to the point of wanting to rule your life even if they’re no longer a part of it. Your ex-boyfriend may be one of these guys. He came back because he hates to see how courageous and strong you are for getting up and getting your life together after things ended with him. He must be having a hard time seeing how you’re moving on and finding happiness in a life that no longer includes him.
  7. He’s confident that you’ll take him back. Your ex-boyfriend may have some misguided thoughts on his mind that say you’ll take him despite what he did. Maybe he’s still under the impression that you love him too much to deny him a second chance.
  8. He wants to win you back. Remember the old adage that says you’ll never realize someone’s worth until they’re gone? Yes, that’s the reason your ex-boyfriend swallowed his pride and knocked on your door. He finally realizes your worth and he wants you to know it. He’s going to tell you how sorry he is for hurting your beautiful heart and that he’s willing to do whatever you ask him just so you can be his girl again. You probably shouldn’t fall for it.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.