9 Alpha Male Traits That Make Them Challenging Boyfriends

Dating an alpha male is an interesting experience and a pretty different one than you’ll get with other types of guys out there. He’s strong, confident, and a natural leader. He stands out without trying and sometimes can seem a little full of himself. He can also be a bit of a troublemaker, but that is usually because he’s just blazing his own path. So what do you need to know if you’re thinking about dating one? Here are some alpha male traits that you might struggle with.

  1. He gets crap done. He doesn’t just talk about doing things to sound important — he’s actually out there doing stuff, and a lot of it. Dating an alpha male means that he might want you along for the part of the ride, or that he might suggest ways for you to step up your game. Don’t be offended. He legitimately thinks he’s helping.
  2. He likes to be kept on his toes. He’s in control of so much that he appreciates complexity and even mystery in a woman. When he doesn’t find that, he tends to move on pretty quickly since he’d rather spend his energy on himself. That being said, one trait every alpha male has is a hatred for drama. Don’t go so far with trying to keep him interested that you become an Oscar-winning diva.
  3. He wants to date a woman who won’t throw him off track. The alpha male isn’t looking to toss aside his life for someone else. He’s looking for someone to blend into what he’s already established. Being the type of girl who has her own vision already is really appealing to him since he respects individuality. This is kind of an ideal situation in that you want to date your equal. However, his rigidness and unwillingness to compromise can be a bit tough to deal with.
  4. He can get a little arrogant. Sometimes he doesn’t show this side to the world because he knows it’s unappealing, but if you’re dating him, you might see this side come out when he’s moody or trying to prove his point. (And good luck getting an apology when he thinks he’s right.) This is one of the worst traits of an alpha male that you’ll have to learn to deal with.
  5. He expects loyalty. And not just in the fidelity sense. He chooses who he wants to spend time with, and once he has, he assumes that the respect is mutual and unwavering. He doesn’t have a lot of patience for lies and shadiness. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, it does mean that you’ll be expected to stand behind him even when he’s clearly in the wrong. When you don’t, don’t be surprised if a massive fight erupts.
  6. He wants a woman who matches his intellect. He might be in the driver’s seat, but he wants a co-pilot, not a passenger. He wants to know that you “get” him and his life and that you can keep up with it without slowing him down. You’re not into dating idiots either, so that’s cool. However, his superiority complex might kick in if he suspects you might be cleverer than him.
  7. The alpha male can be a perfectionist. He does his best all the time and he expects the same of people around him. Sometimes he can be a little judgmental or insensitive to your choices because he assumes that everyone is capable of being their best all the time. He isn’t either, but don’t expect him to admit that…
  8. He’s intense. Sometimes this comes out through passion, and sometimes it comes out through recklessness. He likes when stuff is happening, so sometimes he has to create drama for himself. This can be fun or exhausting, depending on his antics. His passion is admirable and can be really sexy. However, it can also become a bit overwhelming when you want something a bit more balanced.
  9. He might actually like your controlling moments. The alpha male is confident so he isn’t thrown off by a strong alpha female. He sometimes enjoys your need to take control because he gets to sit back for a moment. That being said, beware of ending up in a power battle with him. No one wants a relationship that feels more like a competition.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com