Wedding season is once again upon us, and while the couples of the world might feel a surge of excitement, us single ladies are dreading it. Despite single groomsmen, open bars (hopefully) and beautiful dresses, going stag to a wedding can be a real bitch. Here’s why:
- Happily ever after is being shoved in your face. Okay, so that’s not actually what the bride and groom are trying to do. They didn’t invite you just to make you feel bad about yourself, but regardless, you still do. Once again you see a perfect couple find each other while you’re sucking down free booze on your own. Lovely!
- Everyone wants to know why you’re still single. Why does this need an explanation? The idea that you just haven’t met the right person yet never seems to be enough. They just automatically assume it’s your fault and yet they still feel it’s perfectly acceptable to basically ask a complete stranger, “What’s wrong with you?”
- Guys expect you to throw yourself at them. Can’t they just give it a rest? Sure, it sucks to know that someone else has once again found “The One” when you’re perpetually single, but that doesn’t mean you’re willing to go home with just anyone. Your single status doesn’t make you easy, so can someone please clue the guys in?
- Even as a guest, weddings are expensive. You want to look extra-amazing. It’s not that looks are everything, but when you’re feeling down about yourself emotionally, it’s good to perk yourself up physically. The perfect dress, makeup and hair doesn’t come cheap, especially when you’re living on a single girl budget. Not to mention you have to pay for a gift and a cab to get your drunk ass home.
- Having to sit alone. Loser party of one — or at least that’s how it feels. Like you’re back in high school with no one to sit with at lunch. You don’t have a buddy for the ceremony, and at the reception you’re either the odd wheel to a group of strangers or placed with other pathetic single souls like yourself. At the end of the night, you feel tied to the table and you’re counting down the minutes to an acceptable time to head home.
- Everyone else knows each other. When you’re going stag to a wedding, it always feels like you’re the only one there alone. Everyone else knows each other and you feel more than a little left out. They dance in groups and you sit alone crippled from social anxiety. It’s so seventh grade, but you’re crossing your fingers someone comes up and talks to you.
- You feel like you reek of desperation, no matter what you do. It’s not just the guys thinking your depressed single girl status is going to make you easy — it’s the loneliness. You’re all alone in the church, at your table, the bar and the dance floor. It feels like everyone pities the girl who couldn’t find a plus-one. You might be imagining it all in your head, but that doesn’t make it any less lonely.
- There’s a total double standard. If a woman goes stag to a wedding, you feel sorry for the forever alone girl. If a guy goes solo, he’s just the strong bachelor type. Why is it that you only feel sorry for single women? As if a woman’s life is measured by her relationship status. You know that isn’t true, but you also know that to others you look pathetic while he’s praised for being “the man.”
- You really need a drink. Between all the reminders of the fact that you’re alone and the nosy guests pestering you about why exactly you are single, girlfriend needs a drink… or seven. You cross your fingers for an open bar, because this wedding might be a heavyweight on your lonely soul, but it doesn’t have to weigh down your wallet too. As much as you’d love to get sloshed, you also don’t want to be the drunk and sloppy girl. So you walk the line between sobriety and totally wasted, wishing you were the latter.