Sometimes, only time can tell whether someone will be a good boyfriend or girlfriend. Other times, you can look for some tell-tale signs that will reveal what being with that person would really be like. And when you pick up on some red flags that he won’t make a good boyfriend, you shouldn’t ignore them! From not being reliable to disregarding your feelings, here are nine early signs that he’s not boyfriend material.
- He hates labels. The notion of rejecting relationship labels is pretty controversial. It’s okay for some and unacceptable for others. But one thing’s for sure. It’s hard for someone to become a boyfriend when they hate labels. If he’s honest from the start about not being comfortable with the term “boyfriend”, then chances are he’s not boyfriend material.
- He doesn’t care about your feelings. This is a big and obvious sign that he’s not boyfriend material. Someone you can have a healthy relationship with will always care about your feelings. On the other hand, a guy who’s not that kind of person won’t. He won’t care when he leaves you waiting hours for him. He won’t care if his words hurt your feelings. And he won’t care how it feels when he bails on you at the last second.
- He’s not interested in getting to know you. Typically, a guy who will make great boyfriend material will be interested in getting to know you. He’ll ask you lots of questions about your life. And he’ll generally put lots of effort into building a bond with you. The kind of guy who isn’t interested in getting to know the real you isn’t boyfriend material.
- He’s still attached to his ex. A guy who’s pining for his ex might still be fun to date. But if he’s not emotionally available because his heart is elsewhere, then he won’t make a good boyfriend. He might make a good boyfriend one day when he’s no longer attached to someone else. For the time being, though, you can almost be sure that he’s not the sort of guy you want to have as a boyfriend. Instead, you should have someone who can give you their whole heart.
- He’s a workaholic. Being a workaholic or having huge career goals doesn’t make you a bad person. And in all honesty, relationships with workaholics can work, though they often require a lot of flexibility on the other person’s part. But if he has absolutely no time for a relationship because work is his whole life, then he’s not boyfriend material. Before you invest your time, assess how much of a workaholic he is. Does he actually have the time and energy for a healthy relationship in his life?
- He has no ambitions. On the other end of the spectrum, a guy who has zero ambitions typically doesn’t make a great boyfriend either. If he has no goals in any part of his life, from his career to his love life to his personal development, you might find it really difficult to be with him. A relationship with someone like that can feel like a constant rut. He doesn’t have to have huge dreams, but there should be some things that matter to him, even if they seem insignificant. This is especially true if you have goals and ambitions yourself.
- He can’t be serious. Dating the funny guy is great in the beginning. At a certain point, though, he has to be able to get serious. It’s fine to look on the bright side or have a sense of humor. But if he can’t take anything seriously or have serious conversations about your future or your relationship, he’s not boyfriend material. You want a relationship with someone who is mature enough to be serious when you need them to be, even if they’re hilarious the rest of the time.
- You can’t rely on him. Does he keep his promises? Is he there when he says he’s going to be there? Can you take his word for it? If he’s not trustworthy, then he’s not going to be a good boyfriend. A relationship with someone you can’t rely on brings nothing but stress, disappointment, and stomach knots.
- Hanging out with him feels like a chore. A lot of people place so much emphasis on romantic chemistry that they don’t stop to ask whether they actually like someone. If you wouldn’t be his friend and you don’t actually like hanging out with him, he wouldn’t suit being your boyfriend.