Having A Boyfriend Is Great But Damn, It’s A Hell Of A Lot Of Work

Having a boyfriend is great, don’t get me wrong, but as time wears on, you start to realize how much hard work relationships actually are.

I can’t just think about myself anymore. Gone are the days where I can come and go in my house as I please, go out where I want when I want, and I don’t have to answer to anyone. Now, I have to make sure I’m considering my boyfriend and his wants and needs in everything I do too. My life is no longer just about me, it’s about me and him—and it just got a whole lot more complicated!

I have to make a conscious effort to fit him into my busy schedule. Before he even entered my life, it was a challenge trying to fit in a full-time job, exercise, seeing friends and family, and maintaining a place of my own. Now, there’s a whole new person to fit in, and this person takes up a lot of time and energy.

I have to share my bed. As someone who loves to starfish, this is one of the toughest things about having a new boyfriend. Sometimes I just want my bed to myself! It’s very precious to me and I find it hard to give up for anyone, let alone my new boyfriend (who snores a heck of a lot!)

People always want to know about him. Whether it’s colleagues, friends, or people who I bump into at the grocery store, when I mention I have a boyfriend, everybody starts asking about him. In fact, he gets more questions than me! Sure, people are just being polite and taking an interest, but it gets exhausting trying to explain what a Production Manager does at a mailing company (his current job), especially when I don’t really understand it myself!

I have to make him feel comfortable around my friends and family. Of course, I want my boyfriend to get on with my friends and family and feel like he fits in with everyone, but it’s often so tiring being the one in the middle! During these types of social situations with your loved ones, you have to be neutral like Switzerland, but you also have to orchestrate the conversations so that everyone feels involved and nobody is getting left out. It’s mentally and emotionally draining!

I have to impress all of HIS friends and family. On the other hand, it’s also draining trying to fit in with his loved ones. During the very first meetings, you’re nervous, you’re sweaty, and you’re trying very hard to make a good impression. Then, once they know you, you literally get invited to everything and anything. Your boyfriend’s Great Uncle Frank’s friend’s 80th birthday party? You’re expected to be there—and how on earth are you supposed to fit that in when it’s your nephew’s baptism on the same day? Tough call.

My alone time is greatly reduced. As a natural introvert, I love to be alone! In fact, I actively enjoy spending time alone on a regular basis—or at least I did. Now I don’t get much time on my own at all because the boyfriend is always there. It’s a good job I love him. #justsaying

Two people are more likely to disagree. It’s so easy to make a decision when you’re by yourself. You decide on things based on your own wants and wishes. However, throw another person into the mix and it can be incredibly difficult. They have their own ideas and feelings. Everything from where you both want to go out to eat to whether you want to go to Greece or Spain and holiday is an effort to decide—and one more decision you could do without.

The arguments get me down. No matter what people say, every couple fights, even in the early stages. When you’re single, you tend to forget the bad things about being in a relationship and just focus on the good, which isn’t a true representation of the reality of being in a couple. When I argue with my boyfriend, it affects my entire day and upsets me deeply. It can be difficult to carry on with my life as normal until the argument is resolved – and there ain’t nobody who wants that kind of negativity in their life.

I have to focus on his happiness as well as my own. It’s so much hard work trying to make yourself happy, let alone another person! But, as with anything in life, you’ve got to take the good with the bad. I’ll let you in on a secret—if you find a great love and are truly ready to be in a relationship, it’ll all be worthwhile. If not, get out. Get out now while you have the chance!

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