A guy can be hotter than a GQ model, but if he’s a douchebag, it’s immediately a turn-off. Sexy is about more than just looks. If you’re into intellectual connections alongside physical ones, then you may identify with a few of these everyday traits that automatically bring a man up a notch on the sexy scale:

He’s nice to waiters.

Seriously, a man who’s nice to service people is sexy. It shows he’s kind, considerate and doesn’t consider anyone to be “beneath” him. That says a lot about his character in one little gesture.

He remembers the little things.

Maybe you mentioned your favorite color one time weeks ago, and he brings you a gift in that exact shade. It could be something as small as knowing you don’t like bell peppers in salads. When a guy remembers the little things about you, it shows he’s attentive, and that’s sexy.

He’s good with kids.

Even if you don’t particularly want kids of your own, watching a man interact well with little kids is a turn-on for lots of other reasons. You may not be evaluating him for the position of baby daddy, but seeing how he does in a room full of kiddos can speak volumes. If he gets on their level and really engages with them, it means he’s got a kind heart, and there’s nothing sexier than that.

He can cook a great meal.

This is especially sexy if you get tired of cooking for yourself or aren’t especially handy in the kitchen. But it’s sexy no matter what when a man isn’t helpless in the face of feeding himself (and you), and if he’s really good at it? Bonus.

He uses big words.

It’s so annoying when a dude doesn’t use any words with more than three syllables. Even worse is when they make fun of you for using them. So it’s a nice turn-on when a man’s comfortable with an expansive vocabulary. It’s a sign of his intelligence, and intelligence is never not sexy.

He loves his mom.

His mother was the first important woman in his life, so if he’s courteous and respectful when he talks about her, you can probably bank on him treating all women well. Plus it’s just really cute when a guy is sweet to his mom and is unashamed of that.

His bachelor pad is clean.

Nothing shuts down a sexy encounter more than mold growing on the walls of his house. It’s not necessary for him to be a total neat freak, but if he can manage to keep up appearances and not live like a slob, that makes any sexy times that might be on your mind a lot easier to initiate.

He’s patient.

It’s really hard to be into a dude who doesn’t know the value of patience. This helps in fights, in traffic, in bed, and a variety of other all-encompassing situations. If he’s patient, he’s not going to push you around or stress you out with hurrying things along.

He’s nerdy.

This doesn’t have to necessarily mean typical nerdy situations, but like, if he’s obsessive over something he really loves, that’s always adorable. He might be super into mountain biking and nerd out over the gear for it. This means he’s passionate, and you can count on that always being good for sex appeal.

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