While there are some pretty obvious toxic behaviors that we know to steer clear from in the guys we date, we’re often unaware of the things we do that can be red flags for the guys we’re seeing. That’s why it was so interesting to read a recent Reddit thread in which guys stepped up to reveal some of the ways the women they’ve dated have totally screwed things up.
She played a little too hard to get. We’ve all been in a flirtationship before, and that was certainly the case for fightinscot, who asked out a female friend he’d been flirting back and forth with for a while. From there, things only got messy and confusing. “She said that we were too good of friends to risk it so I left it at that and we kept hanging out. She wanted me to take her to a strip club and even said she would love to try an amateur night and wanted me to come see her if she did it. She then began dropping more hints and would try to playfully grab my hand while we were out. Then she got her nipples pierced and once they healed, showed me and even dropped more hints about other tattoos and piercings I would like on her, or another girl, you know. So again, I ask her if we just gave it a month and tried dating. No sex, didn’t have to go that far. Again, she turns me down. Okay, whatever. A few weeks after that I met a girl and began dating her (my now wife). While playing WoW one night, female friend asks me if I were single, would I have sex with her. I told her I tried to just date her and she turned me down, but I told her yes, if she wanted to, I would have because I’m comfortable with her and had feelings for her. She logs for the night. Then a few days later asks me why she has a hard time finding boyfriends and every guy she likes, gets a girlfriend. I ask her again, what she means and she logs off WoW again. Finally, we have an argument one night about something and shortly after she unfriends me from Facebook and we stop talking. Word gets around to me from mutual friends and she is upset that I got a girlfriend and she really liked me. I told everyone that I gave her the chance to say yes twice and she turned me down, twice. Moral of the story is, if you like a guy and you hint at it and he asks you out, go with it if it is what you really want.”
She was hot and cold. User Nutrobbers recalled being involved with a woman who didn’t seem to know what she wanted, writing, “After sleeping with me she said that she doesn’t want to see me again. I did like her tho but I respected her decision. 3 weeks of no communication I got a message from her saying ‘So that’s how it’s going to be. Don’t ignore me.’ Uhhhh yeah lady. No.”
She tried to make him jealous. “It’s happened with a few women, but when they’re super flirty with you one day then text you the next day asking for advice about another guy,” wrote alphalegend91. “I get they’re doing that to make you jealous and get you to make a move, but nothing turns me off more.”
She played the comparison game. A now-deleted user shared, [She] talked about her ex the entire time and started making subtle comparisons to me. It felt like I was being vetted for a job.” No wonder it didn’t work out.
She thought manipulation was a good dating tactic. “She frequently told my female friend/roommate different tactics she NEEDED to use to keep a guy she was seeing interested,” recalled manoman1232010. “They were mostly small things like telling the guy that she was hosting a party, but explicitly not inviting him to join. I want nothing to do with women who think it’s good to deliberately manipulate or emotionally abuse their boyfriends.
She accused him of cheating when she was the guilty party. Lord_Rhombus wrote, “She accused me of cheating and would never let it go. She ended up cheating instead. She confessed in desperation to get me back. I left her before I knew. I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew her mental state and did counseling and even found out I was manic. Even if you don’t help yourselves as a whole, you can fix yourself.”
She used him for his money. “When I was younger I was doing not so bad for myself. Paid my bills on time, had a car, job, lil apt,” wrote DarthAbraxis. “After about two weeks of hanging out with this girl and meeting her brother he borrowed $5. Not a big deal until A: she gave him my phone number. B: he hits me up asking me for $20 and hadn’t even paid the $5 bucks back from when I first met him. C: was befriending my female housemate at the time and would have chats of how she planned on molding me into her dream BF. Buy her expensive things, etc. was trying to always sex unprotected. I noped out of that situation fast.”
She hated his friends. Kurousagi8 shared, “By saying my friends were a-holes / stupid and I was different how can I be with such losers. Bih they might be stupid, but they’re MY stupids. (and mostly, I am one too)”
She was too clingy too quickly. “Hooked up with a chick one night and we went out on a couple of dates. Everything seemed cool at first, but then she got super clingy out of nowhere,” Szzntnss recalled. “I was hanging out with some friends without her one night because she was busy with family and she starts texting me. She asks me who all is hanging out that night and I tell her. She then starts accusing me of being more interested in my friend’s fiance and that I should just admit that she’s not good enough and I’d obviously rather be screwing my friend’s girl instead. Already a huge red flag, but I figure I’ll deal with it later. After I tell her to drop it and stop messaging her she then starts try to sext me and sends me nudes. While I’d usually be somewhat down for that, right after an argument while I’m out with friends is really not the time. I dropped her right after that. When ‘Hey, this really isn’t working out. You’ve clearly got issues you need to work on,’ didn’t work, blocking her number thankfully did.”
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