9 Major Signs A Guy Doesn’t Value You

There are a lot of different things that go into building a strong and healthy relationship and two of the most important qualities you need is respect and value. A good man will make it obvious that he values you as his partner and as a human being with the way that he treats you and speaks to you. A not-so-good man will make it known that he doesn’t hold you in such high regard by doing these things.

  1. He disregards your emotions. If your guy doesn’t take you seriously when you’re feeling any strong emotions whether it be passion, anger, sadness, or stress, it’s a big sign that he doesn’t value you. Even if he can’t fully understand what you’re feeling at that moment, he should want to support you through it and sympathize with how you’re feeling. There’s no excuse for this one. If he doesn’t show that he cares about your emotions, he doesn’t value you.
  2. He doesn’t get excited about your successes. Another huge sign that your partner doesn’t value you the way he should is if he doesn’t seem to care about the things that you succeed in life, or worse, he feels threatened or insecure by your successes. Having a partner support you in everything that you pursue in life is very important. Going after your dreams and goals can be difficult and scary, and if your partner either just doesn’t care or discourages you from going after them because he feels inferior, he isn’t valuing you the way you deserve and you need to move on from him.
  3. He constantly checks out other women. We all notice other people that we find attractive – it’s kind of impossible not to!  However, there’s a fine line where this is acceptable before it quickly becomes disrespectful. If your boyfriend always seems to be ogling other women or you even catch him flirting with someone else, this can be a sign that he doesn’t value the woman that you are. If he feels the desire to shop around or see what else is out there, it has nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with his inability to see how amazing you are. Drop him and move on to someone who’ll only have eyes for you.
  4. He doesn’t make an effort to romance you. Every long-term relationship tends to reach a point where you and your partner feel very comfortable around each other and that fiery passion that you probably had when you first met somewhat dulls. You don’t lose your passion for each other, you just become accustomed to one another and it becomes easier to bypass all the romantic dates and lounge around on the couch at home. However long you’ve been together, though, your partner should always put in the effort to make you feel special and remind you of how in love with you he is. If he doesn’t seem to care about keeping the romance alive, he may not value you.
  5. He takes you for granted. Another big sign that your guy doesn’t value you is if he takes you for granted in any way. You might be the one who handles the majority of the cost of your life together, the housework, or the planning and organizing of everything. Just because you tend to take the reins in everything doesn’t necessarily mean he takes you for granted, but if he doesn’t ever think to help you or even express his gratitude for you, that’s a sign of a big problem. You’re worth so much more than the things you can do for your partner or the things you can give him. The right man will know that and will never take you for granted.
  6. He emotionally manipulates you. Everyone fights or disagrees and the way you deal with an argument with your partner says a lot about your relationship with him. If your guy tends to manipulate you whenever the two of you get into a disagreement, this can be a big red flag. Manipulation can mean that he tries to guilt you into giving him his way in an argument, he brings up things from your past to make you feel worse in a situation, or he threatens to walk out on you or break up with you if you don’t give in to him in the fight. Any of these tactics are pretty foolproof evidence that he doesn’t value you as a person and he is definitely not the one for you.
  7. He talks down to you in public or in private. The way your guy speaks to you in general is another huge indicator of if he values you or not. A man who respects and values you as an equal will always speak to you as such. He won’t undermine you, condescend to you, or say anything degrading or cruel to you. He shouldn’t ever say these types of things to you no matter where you are but if he has the audacity to speak to you like that in front of other people, that is just so wrong on so many levels and should never be tolerated.
  8. He doesn’t follow through. A man who values you will be true to his word and follow through on his commitments and promises to you. It doesn’t matter if what he promised you isn’t of the utmost importance to him and it doesn’t matter if it was something really simple. His desire and willingness to do what he says he’s going to do is something that should be very important to him because he’ll know that it matters to you. If he doesn’t care to remember or just straight up doesn’t keep his promises, he doesn’t value you enough.
  9. He doesn’t make you a priority. It doesn’t matter how busy he is or how stressful his life is. If he values you and if you’re important to him, you will always be at the top of his priority list. You won’t have to listen to excuses about why he doesn’t have time for you or why he always forgets important days and important things because he will always make sure that you feel special and loved. If he doesn’t make you a priority and it feels like you have to fight for time with him or compete for attention with everything else he has going on, he just simply isn’t the one for you. The one for you will never make you go through that. You will always be the most important thing in the world to him and you will never wonder if you’re valued.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.