I Think I’m Amazing But I’ve Never Had A Guy Treat Me Like I Am

I’ve spent a lot of time and effort building up my self-confidence. I never used to believe that I deserved a decent guy but now I know I do. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean they’ve started just showing up on my doorstep, and it gets tough to keep the faith when men keep treating me like I’m ordinary.

  1. Continuous poor treatment is starting to screw with my head. I know I’m a great girl and that I should be able to find a partner who sees and appreciates that, but I can’t. What’s going on? It makes me feel like I’m crazy, like I don’t actually deserve a man who loves me and thinks I’m an amazing person. I don’t understand. It feels terrible and threatens my entire opinion of myself.
  2. I love who I am, but bad dating encounters shake that confidence. More often than not, men who seem to think I’m amazing in the beginning suddenly become complacent and unappreciative — and much earlier than they ever should. I want someone who never does this to me because I always do my best to put love and effort into a relationship. Am I crazy to think that’s possible? Am I crazy to think I’m good enough to deserve better?
  3. No matter how great a guy seems, he always ends up undervaluing me. I don’t date much because I do have pretty high standards. This makes it even more devastating when I think I’ve finally found a man who is right for me, only to realize he’s pulling the same old crap. I’m so tired of it all. I’d rather just hide alone in my apartment forever than keep dealing with men who don’t put in any effort with me.
  4. The men I date give up trying in record time — I don’t get it. I can barely get a guy who tries for the entire honeymoon period, i.e. the first three months, let alone for any length of time after. I know that there are men out there who understand how to have a real, mature adult relationship. I don’t know where they are, but they sure aren’t hanging out around me. I’m not the kind of girl guys think they can walk all over, so I don’t get it.
  5. They tell me I’m amazing and then treat me like I’m disposable. It screws with my mind beyond belief. They say so many sweet, pretty things, but their actions say otherwise. Even more confusing, they seem very excited about me in the beginning and make some effort, but abandon that behavior at the slightest sign of conflict. I’d like to think that all men aren’t this lazy and selfish but it’s becoming difficult to believe otherwise.
  6. I want to keep up hope but it makes me feel terrible. It seems I’m better off just avoiding men altogether than trying to be hopeful and getting my heart smashed time and time again. I don’t want to deal with it anymore. It’s the absolute worst. Since my attempts at love all end in disaster, I no longer believe that anything else will really happen. I don’t see any happy ending for myself other than deciding to live my life alone.
  7. It’s hard to want to date when this keeps happening. I want to believe there are good guys out there — I really do. However, even when I meet one, he’s not man enough for me. He finds me intimidating and can’t handle the fact that I don’t put up with BS. Is there even a guy out there who’s suited to me? I’m beginning to doubt it. After years and years of this, I’m frankly exhausted and don’t want to deal with it.
  8. I think I’ll be better off alone if guys continue to sell me short. I really do believe this. I like being alone despite the fact that I miss sex and physical affection just like any other normal human. I get sad sometimes, but it’s nothing compared to the gut-wrenching pain of going through yet another disappointment with a man I thought would be different. I’m tired of trying to be brave and open and vulnerable for guys who don’t appreciate it.
  9. I’ve worked long and hard to develop self-confidence and dating only undermines it. I feel great about myself when I’m on my own — it’s wonderful to know that I don’t actually need a man. In fact, I usually feel worse about myself when I’m dating. I keep putting my feelings in the hands of men who don’t appreciate having them and I end up sad all over again. I’m at a loss for how to break this pattern.
  10. I’m tired of trying when my hopes always end up dashed time and time again. Seriously, what’s the point? Yeah, I might eventually find something worth having with a man, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it. Every time I let myself go there, I end up hurt. I’m tired of feeling crappy about dating and men and love. I crave someone who loves me correctly and no man ever wants to give that to me. I’m a good human being and I’m sick of being overlooked.
  11. I don’t know if I’ll ever believe a guy who promises to treat me well. All I’ve learned about men is that they break their promises or never intended to keep them in the first place. Whether they just wanted to get me into bed or thought they could give me stuff they couldn’t, it’s always what happens. I don’t ask for a lot, so it baffles me that these guys have all found it oh-so-difficult to come through. Give me a break.
  12. I used to be a hopeless romantic, but all this disappointment is killing my soul. I always knew that my romantic heart wasn’t entirely realistic, but I believed there were men out there who would give me romance. Now I’m starting to think that will never happen. I can’t even get a guy to give me the bare minimum, let alone actually love and nurture me like I deserve. I honestly don’t understand why.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.