9 Mind Games Insecure Men Play In Relationships

Unfortunately, a lot of guys out there play mind games. They feel extremely insecure within their relationships and within themselves and in turn, mind games are a way for them to remain in power and to feel like they’re calling the shots in the relationship. It’s completely unfair and no one should have to put with that. Here are some examples of mind games that insecure men play that you need to be on the lookout for.

  1. Self-esteem damage Diminishing your self-esteem will be one of the first things an insecure guy tries to do. Their goal here is to make you feel bad about yourself or feel as if you’re undeserving of love that way you’ll never leave them for anything else. The only reason they’re doing this is that they have no self-esteem and want to bring you down to their level. Keep in mind that a person who loves you and values you will never try to kill your confidence and only build you up.
  2. Guilt-tripping Guilt is another tactic that guys use to play mind games. They’ll constantly make you feel guilty for doing or saying anything that they’re not okay with. Your guy might try to make you feel guilty for spending time with your family or friends by claiming that you never want to spend time with him. He might make you feel guilty if you ever get into an argument with each other by claiming that you don’t care about his feelings and you’re being selfish. Any way that he can turn the situation around to make you feel like you’ve done something wrong, he’ll do.
  3. Patronizing Patronizing is another way that men who play mind games attempt to kill a woman’s confidence. If you’re discussing something serious with him or arguing a point that you’re trying to make and he seems to be trivializing what you say, pay attention to the little things that he says and does. Men who attempt to patronize will act like they’re agreeing with you but they’ll do it with a sort of sarcasm in order to subtly make you feel as if your opinion doesn’t matter and if you don’t be careful, it could start to make you actually feel that way.
  4. The jealousy game A very popular mind game that guys like to play is trying to make you jealous in an attempt to manipulate or punish you for something. If you tell your guy that you’re going out with your friends for a girl’s night and he responds by telling you that if you go out with your friends then he’s going to go out too. He might claim that he’s going to try to meet other women or contact ex-girlfriends. All of these games are extremely childish but an insecure guy definitely won’t be above trying to hurt you or make you jealous by playing them.
  5. Threatening Another terrible game that they can play is by threatening to end your relationship if you don’t do what they want. At this point in your relationship, your guy is probably counting on the fact that things have gotten serious between you two and you’re emotionally invested in him and your relationship to the point where if he threatened a breakup, you’d do whatever he asked to prevent that from happening. It’s important to know that the right man for you, would never threaten anything like that. He would never try to manipulate you or trick you into getting his way.
  6. Isolation Isolating you is a great way for insecure guys to make you feel like you’re alone and that you have to rely on him and him alone. Insecure men don’t like when their partners always turn to their family or close friends for advice and guidance. They don’t want any outside forces giving their two cents about your relationship or making you think that you deserve more. So, in order to prevent this from happening, they’ll often try to isolate you from everyone else in your life by taking up all of your time and making it extremely difficult for you to have a life outside of your relationship.
  7. Blame If your guy always points the finger at you whenever there is an argument or a rift in your relationship, it’s definitely a sort of mind game that he’s playing on you. Blame can be another type of guilt-tripping and manipulation. If he can make you feel as if you’re the only one who’s responsible for any problems your relationship faces, then he can keep you vulnerable and make you feel as if you have to fix everything. In a mature, healthy relationship both people will own up to things that they’ve done and said and both take responsibility for different issues they face. That’s the only way to move forward together.
  8. Freeze-Out The silent treatment is another mind game that guys will use in order to manipulate their partners. If you want to talk about a fight or an issue that is happening within your relationship and your partner chooses to shut down and refuse to talk with you about it, thus, refusing to come to any sort of reconciliation, it’s a way to make you feel as if you’re in the wrong or to simply wear you down until you have no other choice but to give in to whatever they want. It’s definitely an unfair way to fight and no way to act in a healthy relationship.
  9. Conditional Love Putting conditions on your love is one of the hurtful and manipulative things a person can do in a relationship and one of the worst ways someone can mess with your head. If your guy tells you that the only way they will love you is if you do what they want, act the way they want, etc. That is definitely not real love. Someone who really loves you will never try to manipulate you into being who they want you to be. They’ll love you for who you are and will respect the things that you want. If your partner is playing mind games, know that there’s someone out there who won’t play those games with you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.