9 Reasons To End The On Again, Off Again Cycle & Make Your Breakup Final

If you’re stuck in an on again, off again relationship, it’s time to break the cycle. Getting back together may seem like the easy route to heal your heart (especially if you still have feelings for your ex), but in the end you’ll feel shattered like never before. Your breakup should be final — for more than a few reasons:

  1. You broke up for a reason. You need to face the facts that there were real issues in your relationship. Couples fight, but you don’t call it quits over something little. You tried and it failed, so move on to something better.
  2. It’s not like the movies. In movies, couples reunite all the time and everything’s perfect, but reality is just not that easy. Reigniting your relationship takes a hell of a lot of work. You have to deal with what broke it down to begin with and figure out how to move forward — if you actually can. Ignoring the problem will only screw you over more.
  3. The memory is still there. Whether you broke up because of a heavy betrayal or just didn’t seem to be in the right place at the right time, the baggage from your relationship is still there. It’s weighing you down and eventually the bad memories will outweigh the good.
  4. It’s not just a fight. A fight is something you disagree on and then resolve, but a breakup means you couldn’t reach a resolution and you parted ways. If you get back together, those problems will still be there.
  5.  You’re still the same people. If you could resolve the issue before, why didn’t you? A breakup is the solution of having no solution. Your ex didn’t change and is still the same person you broke up with, and so are you. What do you think will be different this time?
  6. You’re halting your own happiness. When a relationship is rocky, you might feel happy one minute and miserable the next. Continuing that unhealthy cycle is holding you back from someone that could meet all of your wants and needs.
  7. You might just be lonely. After a breakup, it’s easier to go back to something comfortable than to face the unknown. But comfort isn’t love. The alternative of being single and alone might sound scary, but it’s a lot better than staying in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship.
  8. The trust is broken. You broke the relationship and with that, the trust you built came crumbling down. It’s hard enough building trust in the first place, let alone put all the pieces back together once it’s been broken. It will never fully heal, especially with the looming thought that you already broke up once (or more).
  9. You’re in different places. When you first got together, you started at the same emotional place; after a breakup you’re on two entirely different levels. The more time you spend apart, the more time you have to grow apart. Can you really accept everything he did when you weren’t together?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.