9 Reasons ‘Friends With Benefits’ Rarely Works

A no strings attached relationship can seem convenient and exhilarating — you choose a friend you already like and introduce sex into the equation thinking it’s a win-win situation. The thing is, it’s rarely that simple, and when the sex is over, chances are the friendship will be, too.

  1. Someone always catches feelings. It’s inevitable — one person always gets more attached than the other, and when that happens, it will destroy the situation and the friendship.
  2. It closes you off from the real thing. If you’re busy having casual sex with your bud, you’re not going to find a real relationship anytime soon. It may seem convenient, but with a lot less payoff in the end than actually dating.
  3. It mirrors an almost relationship. For the most part, you act as though you’re in a relationship — flirting, hanging out, hooking up — but you’re not actually in one. It’s hard to find the line when you like having sex but have no interest in getting serious.
  4. It ruins the friendship. When the FWB situation ends, the friendship will never be the same. You’ve seen each other in some compromising positions and those images will be forever burned into your memory, making things pretty awkward post-FWB.
  5. Jealousy is inevitable. When you’re out with your FWB and they start hitting on someone who’s not you, it’s going to piss you off. Even if you don’t want to date them you’ll still take a hit from them wanting to date someone else.
  6. It almost always gets more complicated than ‘just sex’. When you have sex with someone for an extended period of time you end up caring more about them. That coupled with the fact you were already friends to begin with can muster up some complications that the no strings attached pact just can’t ignore.
  7. If it does turn into something else, the lines are already blurred. The lines of friendship, respect and the dynamic of the relationship will always be unclear because of how it started. Even if it does turn into dating exclusively, it’ll always be harder to navigate than your typical relationship.
  8. It’s not safe. Casual sex always comes with a risk no matter who you’re doing it with. Whether it be STDs from not being exclusive or even an unwanted pregnancy, there are just too many risks.
  9. It has to end eventually. There will always be an expiry date on a FWB. That’s one of the main stipulations, and if you know it’s headed for a split, why even bother?
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.