9 Reasons He Texts You But Never Asks You Out

Often, regular texting (as in often and consistent) can indicate that a guy likes you, so it’s super confusing when he loves sending you messages but won’t actually ask you out. The truth is, anything could be going on in the mind of your love interest. But there are a few common scenarios that lead to this situation! Read on to find out 9 reasons he’s happy to message but in no hurry to actually get together with you in person.

  1. He likes the idea of you. One of the most common reasons for a guy to text you constantly but not actually ask you out is this: he likes the idea of being with you, but he doesn’t actually want to be with you. Texting you allows him to have regular contact with you, joke with you, and even flirt with you. In short, it allows you to stay in his life without him making any kind of commitment to you. Maybe his logical brain thinks you’d be a great girlfriend, but for whatever reason, his gut is saying no.
  2. He has anxiety. Anxiety can stop us from doing many things that we want to do. If a guy has anxiety, he might actually want to ask you out but feel too anxious to go through with it. That’s another reason why he might be texting you without ever asking. In this case, he likes you and he loves talking to you. He’s just trying to work up the courage to ask you out.
  3. He’s bored. Sadly, boredom also leads to people texting but never following through. If he’s bored, it makes sense that he likes talking to you. Depending on the nature of your chats, this might be a source of entertainment for him. A clear sign that he’s only talking to you out of boredom is when he sporadically appears and disappears from your life. When he appears, it’s because he’s got nothing else to keep him entertained. And when he disappears, he might have found something/someone more interesting.
  4. He likes you as a friend only. If he’s not asking you out but he’s continuously texting you, he might like you, but as a friend only. Luckily, it’s usually easy to tell when a guy only wants friendship. He will try to avoid saying anything flirtatious. Also, he might encourage you to date other people and show interest in hearing about your love life. Often, it’s easy to distinguish a friend from a love interest by looking at these clues.
  5. He is involved with someone else. Being involved with someone else might stop him from asking you out. But it won’t necessarily stop him from texting you. Depending on what stage of the relationship he’s in, and how loyal he is, he might still want to flirt with you over text when he’s got someone else already. If you follow him on social media or keep up with his friends, you’ll probably have a better idea of whether he’s seeing someone else or not.
  6. He just broke up with someone. Timing is important. Sometimes, two people can be right for each other, but the timing just doesn’t work out. Case in point: he really likes you but he just broke up with someone. In that situation, he might not be ready to launch into a new relationship. But because he likes you, he won’t want to stop talking to you. Though timing can keep two people apart for a while, they will eventually find their way together if they’re meant to be.
  7. He’s genuinely too busy for a girlfriend. Maybe he wants to go out with you, but he doesn’t have time for that right now. It happens. School, college, work, health, family … these are all parts of life that can get in the way sometimes. If he is genuinely too busy to go out with you, it should only be a temporary thing. Despite the reality of life being busy, the heart still wants what it wants. So if it feels like you’re waiting forever, it could be that he’s just not into you.
  8. He likes having someone to text. Having someone to text can ease feelings of loneliness. Although it sounds crazy, it can also make you feel like you have a sense of purpose or achievement in your life. So he might not actually want to go out with you, but keep you in his life so he can gain these positive feelings from texting you regularly.
  9. He’s stringing you along in case he needs you. Unfortunately, it’s possible that a guy who texts you but doesn’t ask you out could be stringing you along in case he needs you in the future. Maybe he’s got a partner at the moment or is enjoying his single life. Regularly texting you allows him to build up your bond so he doesn’t have to start from scratch when he is ready to have a girlfriend.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including Hotsprings.co and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.