9 Reasons To Skip The Breakup Sex

You just broke up, and while you may or may not be over the emotional part of the relationship, you’re itching for that physical connection one last time. What’s the harm? It’s just one last goodbye, right? Wrong. Before you jump back in the sack with your newly minted ex of a boyfriend, think long and hard and skip it for these 9 reasons:

  1. It’s confusing. Are you still on the same page about the breakup? Sex will make things way messier and blur the lines of your relationship status. One of you was in a clear state of mind when you decided to end things, so stick with that.
  2. It can give false hope. Was it a mutual breakup? If it wasn’t, one of you isn’t in the right place for this connection. Even if it was, are either of you feeling any regret? Sex gives hope, however false, for reconciliation. You broke up for a reason. Don’t let anything cloud that judgment.
  3. You’re delaying the healing process.After a breakup, it’s time to figure out how you’re going to move on. You need a clean break from the other person and jumping back into bed will cause you to start the post-breakup rituals all over again.
  4. It doesn’t give you closure. Instead, it opens up old wounds. As much as you want it to be just sex, it’s not. There’s history between you and all of those feelings of love, hurt, and anger will still be there, waiting to erupt as soon as you climax.
  5. One of you is using the other. Every once in a while, you might both be using each other to satisfy your physical needs. But most of the time, one of you is getting what they need while the other is just getting screwed (pun intended). Skip the unrequited feelings and leave your breakup status where it is.
  6. You already said goodbye. It was emotional enough in the first place, so why do you want go through that all again? Saying goodbye once was hard enough; twice is nearly unbearable. Goodbyes suck, plain and simple, so make them as quick and easy as possible.
  7. You could reignite old feelings. If the sex is good (and I don’t know why you’d be going back for more if it wasn’t), it can make you remember the other good parts of your relationship. You may think that your problems weren’t all that bad, but believe me, they were. Sex, no matter how good, can’t solve all of your problems.
  8. It can be awkward AF. What happens after? You don’t cuddle. This isn’t a random hookup, so just leaving would be a little strange. So what do you do? What’s the etiquette here? There are no standard rules because every situation is different, so how will you act? Don’t even put yourself in such an awkward position. You’re better than that.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.