Serial monogamists everywhere shudder to imagine the concept, but is it really so bad to take time off the dating game and focus on you? How can you expect to level up if you’re always prioritizing finding someone else to make you feel complete? Here are 9 reasons why slowing your dating roll and keeping to yourself for a while may be best for you.
- You’ll be happier when you do get in a relationship. This sounds backward since we’re talking about staying single, but no one said an extended break was a life sentence of solitude. It’s unrealistic to act like a relationship will never happen, even if it’s not what you’re aiming for today. The more time you invest in you before this happens, the better of a catch you’ll be for someone when you’re back on the love hunt.
- You’ll be with someone solely because you want to. The more time you spend by yourself the more you realize what you’re capable of without depending on someone else. In many ways, it almost becomes easier and more convenient to remain independent. When you become a pro at taking care of all your needs outside of romantic companionship, when you’re open to adding this to your life you won’t have a hidden agenda or ulterior motive, unlike someone who’s trying to be “saved,” “taken care of,” or use others.
- Men don’t mature until their 40s anyway. Dating when you’re young can be tumultuous. People are still learning about themselves, fighting inner demons, figuring their lives out, etc. Throw serious commitment and major responsibilities that come with the rollercoaster of making long-term love last/function well into the mix and chaos ensues. Things may be less rocky and more stable overall if you just wait out a man’s immature youthful days and snag him once he’s ready to be serious and settle down without drama.
- You’ll have more time/freedom to do other things. People assume having two incomes automatically means you’ll be wealthier and more financially stable. But with serious relationships come more date night costs, more outfits needed for those outings, potential costs of babysitters, etc. Then if you get married, there’s the whole wedding, honeymoon, house-buying, ongoing mortgage, and cost of expanding your family with kids to think of. The deeper you get involved with someone, the more bills and less mobility you’ll have. Being single and not tired down frees you up to do all the things. You can travel, accomplish goals, and have fun without having to check in with or consider another person.
- You’ll avoid a future mid-life crisis. On the same note, if you do go through a divorce, get widowed, or become an empty nester down the road, you won’t be entirely lost. Some people would have no idea what to do with themselves if they were alone. These people went straight from their parents’ house to a college dorm to living with roommates to married and don’t know what solitude is like or how to handle it. If it’s forced on them, they will go wild/become self-destructive or crumble. People who have already been solo for an extended period just have a “been there done that” mentality and know-how to deal with and thrive under these conditions.
- The dating scene is draining. I know all the introverts out there feel this to the core. It’s not fun to keep having to meet strangers, put yourself out there for rejection, and meet up in public crowded places. We don’t thrive on constant interaction and an extended absence from the world of peopling in any form may be the rejuvenating breath of fresh air we need.
- You’ll be in the best relationship by default. The relationship you have with yourself should always come first. Not in a narcissist egomaniac kinda way, but how do you expect to take care of others if you can’t even protect and be mindful of the person you’ve known the longest? They say you can’t pour from an empty cup so fill yours and enjoy life for a minute without spreading yourself thin giving pieces away to others.
- It will minimize baggage and bitterness when you do settle down. People think casually dating and FWB arrangements are all fun and games, but it’s hard to avoid feelings getting involved. We also carry our past hurts and preconceptions based on previous experience into future dealings. The less you risk disappointment and negative experiences, the smaller your chances will be of expecting the worst and being skeptical when you find a good thing.
- To have fun and live your life. Being single isn’t a bad thing. Enjoy any stage/season of life you’re in and stop comparing your journey to others. You’ll be more at peace that way regardless of what you’re doing or who you’re with.