9 Reasons You Need To Stop Chasing Guys If You Want To Find Love

We’re always preaching the benefits of being proactive and not waiting around for a guy to make the first move, but there’s a huge difference between making the first move and making every move. While there aren’t many guys out there that won’t welcome a break from being the pursuer, they still like to chase you a little bit. Your best bet is to find a way to let a guy know you’re interested and give him opportunities to make a move without being too obvious about it. Easier said than done, right? Still, when done right, it’s the best strategy there is – particularly if you’re looking for a solid and meaningful relationship.

  1. How will you know if he really likes you? If you never give him the chance to pursue you, how will you know if he even wants to? You’ve probably heard that when a guy wants you, he’ll make a move, so maybe you should back off a little and give him the chance.
  2. Guys will often take what they can get. If there’s a girl throwing herself at him and she’s “good enough”, he might just indulge her for a little while, no matter how interested he really is. Not having to make any effort whatsoever doesn’t happen that often, so he’s unlikely to turn that down. Still, we all know just because a guy is willing to fool around with you doesn’t mean he actually likes you.
  3. You don’t want to be stuck doing all the work. If you set a precedent where you’re always the one initiating conversations and making plans, he’s going to stay lazy. Breaking his habit of waiting for you to come to him won’t be easy, and you deserve more than that.
  4. You can’t be so available. Especially near the beginning, you can’t be willing to drop everything for a guy. He wants to know you have a life of your own and won’t latch onto his if you do start dating. Devoting your every second to him is an easy way to scare him away.
  5. He’ll lose interest if it’s too easy. If you aren’t at least a little bit of a challenge, he might start to think you aren’t worth it. Even if he’d never admit it, every guy likes to work to win a girl over a little bit. It makes him feel like he accomplished something.
  6. You could be making a fool of yourself. If you’re blindly pursuing a guy without paying attention to how he’s reacting to your advances, you might be completely clueless to the fact that he’s laughing behind your back with all his friends. You don’t want to be one of those girls that doesn’t take no for an answer.
  7. If he’s not willing to try, he’s not worth it anyway. The best relationships have a good balance of give and take. Both people have to be equally invested, and willing to put in work, or it will never last.
  8. If you’re too aggressive you’ll scare him away. If you’re the type that doesn’t take no for an answer, he might give in at first, but chances are he’s not going to want to stick around to find out what you’re like in a relationship. No guy wants a controlling girl, so cool it.
  9. Some guys don’t like being pursued. Some confident, alpha males aren’t comfortable taking a passenger seat in the courting process. It’s not that he wouldn’t welcome a woman letting him know she’s interested, but he wants to be the one to do the chasing the majority of the time.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.