9 Signs He Knows He Messed Up & Wants You Back, According To A Guy

As a guy, I can tell you that when men do something to screw up a relationship, it can take us a while to recognize that we’ve ruined things and want another chance. Sure, we should be aware of our wrongdoings right away, but it just doesn’t work like that. Here are some signs your ex finally recognizes that he messed up and wants you back in his life.

  1. He stays single long after the breakup. If he’s in denial after a breakup, he might try to jump back into the dating pool quickly. However, if he remains single for a while after you dumped him, it could be a sign that he hasn’t moved past what he did. It means something is lingering in his mind that he can’t process and deal with fully. Staying single can also be an indication that a guy is hoping for another chance.
  2. He contacts you out of the blue. After a breakup, there aren’t a lot of guys who will text or call you “just to say hi.” If an ex-boyfriend contacts you out of the blue, you can bet there’s a purpose behind it. Odds are that he has finally realized that he made a mistake and wants to make amends. That being said, he may not necessarily offer an apology. He might just want another chance so he can show you with his actions that he’s sorry.
  3. He asks your friends about you. Nowadays, social media is sometimes a good way to keep up with someone, but if he has recognized that he made a serious mistake, he might work a little harder to gather information about you. He’ll want to know if you’ve moved on and perhaps if you’re willing to forgive him for what he did. If he’s serious about wanting another chance, he’s more likely to contact your friends rather than relying on social media for his info.
  4. He’s hiding his new girlfriend. Do you ever get the sense that your ex is dating someone new but trying to hide it? It’s been known to happen, and when it does, it usually has something to do with you. He may recognize that he messed things up before and wants you back even if he’s dating someone else. In this situation, he’ll want you to think that he’s still single. That’s because he’s interested in getting back together even though he has a new girlfriend.
  5. He’s self-destructive. You might see it on social media or hear from his friends, but self-destructive behavior is almost always a sign of regret or guilt. He’ll feel powerless because he knows he messed up, wants you back, and doesn’t know what to do about it. In other words, if you ended things because he messed up, it’s no coincidence when he flies off the rail afterward.
  6. He undergoes major life changes. Regret tends to make people do rash things. If a guy makes major life changes, he could be overcompensating for the fact that he messed up and knows he won’t get a second chance. He might move or do something that seems out of character. Deep down, he’s hoping a change like that will help him get past what he’s feeling because he doesn’t think you’ll take him back after his mistake.
  7. He gives you a long, drawn-out, heartfelt apology. It seems obvious that a guy will apologize once he realizes that he made a big mistake. However, if he wants to get back together, he’ll draw out the apology so it seems more sincere. If you get a long apology in an email or text or even in a long, awkward face-to-face meeting, you can know that he’s sincere in knowing that he hurt you. You will also know that he’s eager to change, largely because he wants you back.
  8. He talks like he’s still your boyfriend. Guys can be sneaky about how they get back into your life. If some know that they’ve messed up but want another chance, they might assume that you’ll give them that chance. That means he’ll start talking to you and treating you the way he did at the start of your relationship. It’s like he’s assumed that you forgive him and that you’re getting back together. If it helps, it usually means that he knows he messed up and is sorry. However, he doesn’t want to fess up to his mistakes. Instead, he wants to move past it by trying to act like your boyfriend.
  9. He bargains to get back together. Remember that bargaining is one of the stages of grief. Once a guy realizes he’s ruined something good, he may go through those stages. That includes trying to bargain his way back into the relationship. He’ll recognize that it’s over and will do whatever he can to get you back. This usually isn’t a pretty sight, but it will tell you that a guy knows he messed up the relationship and wants to reunite.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.