9 Signs He’s More Into Himself Than He’s Into You

9 Signs He’s More Into Himself Than He’s Into You ©iStock/PeopleImages

Narcissists are the worst. They’re cocky, arrogant, rude, and nine times out of time couldn’t give a damn about anyone (or anything), but themselves. It’s not their fault, of course; just bad wiring in their brain. Tragically, a true narcissist is completely clueless about their own behavior, but because there’s just something so hot about a man who’s oozing with confidence, it’s easy to get sucked into their clutches. Then, before you know it, you begin to realize that his concern for himself will forever outweigh his concern for you.

So, are you dating a guy who’s more into himself than he’s into you? Here are the signs you might be.

  1. He never asks you about your day. Even when it’s pretty clear that your day started off as a disaster when you missed the train, dropped coffee on your shirt, and then you were caught gossiping about your coworkers yet again, he just doesn’t pick up on it. Instead, he immediately goes into how his day was, and maybe, if you’re really lucky, he’ll notice the coffee stain on her shirt and ask what’s up.
  2. He talks more than he listens. People who are too into themselves tend to wait for their turn to talk in conversations instead of actually listening. If you’re picking up on those vibes, because his responses aren’t matching what you just said, then yeah, dude is way too into himself.
  3. He needs constant reassurance. “But enough about me. What do you think of me?” It’s like you can almost hear the sound of him jerking off to the thought of you thinking he’s just as great as he thinks he is every time he puts the question out there. No thanks.
  4. He knows nothing about your family and friends. Why? Because he doesn’t ask. Obviously they’re not as amazing as he is, which becomes clear every time you mention them.
  5. He believes what he does is more important than what you do. You could be saving lives in an ER room 18 hours a day while he trades stock on Wall Street (because of course he does), and yet somehow, he makes you feel that what you do is subpar to everything he does.
  6. He refuses to admit when he’s wrong. Well, he’s just never wrong, so deal with it.
  7. He gives you gifts to reaffirm how great he is. In similar fashion to those people who volunteer just so they can pat themselves on the back and brag on Facebook about what a fantastic and compassionate human being they are, your narcissistic guy is doing the exact same thing every time he gives you something. It’s when you realize that he’s way more excited about giving the gift than you getting the gift that you see there’s definitely a problem there.
  8. He appreciates his own appearance more than yours. That’s if you get a compliment at all, which is really hard to do when he can’t pull himself out of the mirror.
  9. He manages to alienate everyone… even you. A guy who is more into himself than you means he’s more into himself than everyone else, too. This becomes abundantly clear when you realize he has no close friends and your friends quit inviting you two to parties, because no one wants to be around him. If being left out by your friends because the guy you’re dating is a narcissistic douchebag isn’t reason enough to ditch him, then good luck with all that, because you deserve better and you know it.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.