Being in love is a wonderful thing, but there’s a difference between loving and being in love with someone. You may have loved your partner at one point and fell out of love, or maybe you never loved the person in the first place. Here are some ways to spot the signs.
You don’t go out of your way to spend time with your partner. Maybe you used to spend lots of time together and you enjoyed it, but now you don’t feel like making the effort. Or maybe you never cared if you guys didn’t hang out much. You don’t dislike being around your partner, but you could be finding that you’re spending more time with your other friends and family than with your significant other and it doesn’t bother you.
You feel very disconnected emotionally. You don’t really communicate with your partner, or you two don’t communicate well, so you’re never on the same page. You don’t talk much at all and never even ask about the other person’s day because you’re not interested in bonding. If you don’t connect on an all levels, it’s hard to be in love with someone even if you do care about the person.
You don’t get excited about sex. There could have been a strong physical attraction that brought you together, but once the newness of your relationship wears off, it can be hard to maintain the spark in your sex life. Relationships can have natural ups and downs when it comes to sexual activity, but if you never get into it anymore, there’s probably an explanation. It could come from the lack of emotional connection or any other number of reasons. It could mean that you’re not in love with the person or you used to be but you fell out of love somewhere along the line.
You aren’t excited to go home to your partner. You don’t miss the person too much when you’re not together. You might find that you don’t mind staying at work later because you’re not in a rush to go home. It’s not that you’re avoiding the person because you still like your partner, but you don’t have that giddy feeling in anticipation of seeing each other. When you’re in love with someone, there’s nothing more you want to do than go home to them at the end of the day.
You don’t brag about your partner to other people. You don’t find yourself thinking about the person too much when you’re not together. Therefore, you don’t brag about your partner’s accomplishments or bring the person up in conversation at all. If you used to do this and don’t anymore, it might be a bad sign. If your partner is never on your mind and you’re bored with them, you’re most likely not in love.
You don’t get jealous at all when someone flirts with your partner. If you’re out together and someone else hits on your partner, it should cause you to feel at least a tiny bit jealous if you’re in love—not to the point that you have to act on it or say anything about it, though, because you trust your partner completely. If you feel nothing at all about your partner potentially being with someone else romantically, you might not be in love even if you still care deeply for your significant other.
You’re with your partner because of convenience. If you live with your partner and have thought about breaking it off but don’t because it would be messy to figure out your living situation, you might not be in love. You may still care about your partner and can tolerate living with them, so you stay because you figure that maybe you’re in a rut or something. When you still like the person and want to remain part of each other’s lives, it can be hard to recognize when it might be time to move on.
You’re with the person for financial reasons. If you still care about your partner but couldn’t break up even if you wanted to because you’d have too many financial problems if you were on your own, you might try to convince yourself that you’re in love with them just to avoid the drawback of going your separate ways. You should consider that staying in your relationship might not end up being a good thing in the end. The longer you stay in that relationship, the harder it will be to split up and the more unhappy you’ll probably be.
You don’t want to end it because you care. You don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. You like spending time with your significant other, but it’s more on a friendship level than on a romantic level. It’s great to be best friends with your partner, but you also need to feel that spark once in a while. If you don’t feel that, you may want to evaluate if you really want to stay in your relationship. If you’re not in love with each other, you both deserve more than that.
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