A healthy relationship can bring sunshine and happiness to a person’s life. On the flip side, an unhealthy relationship can be draining, stressful, and a source of constant unhappiness. It’s not always easy to notice when your relationship has slipped into the realm of “unhealthy” but here are a few signs to watch out for.
- Feeling like you can’t do anything without your partner Co-dependency happens when one person in the relationship needs their partner, and that person needs to be needed. This results in an unhealthy pattern that makes you extremely reliant on your relationship to provide everything you need in life. It robs you of your personal power and your independence. It’s a sign that you’re stuck in a co-dependent relationship if you feel like you can’t do anything without your partner, whether it’s going to a party, taking a class, or visiting your family.
- The relationship feeling like a chore Does your relationship feel like a chore? This could be a sign that things aren’t happy or healthy at home. All relationships go through highs and lows, and those lows can include you being stuck in a rut. But over the long term, your relationship shouldn’t feel a drain or a chore. It should ultimately enhance your life rather than bring it down.
- The sensation of walking on eggshells The sense of walking on eggshells in a relationship can mean that it’s not as healthy as you might have thought. Rather, this could indicate that your partner makes the environment very tense at home and you always feel like you’re going to upset them by just being yourself. Ask yourself why you feel like this and what you fear might happen if you “step out of line”, as this can be a clear sign that the relationship isn’t healthy.
- Not being able to trust your partner For most people, trust is a non-negotiable trait of a good relationship. If you’re not able to trust your partner, either to tell you the truth, follow through with their promises, or support you, what is the point? When you get to a place where you can’t trust your partner, it could mean that the relationship is no longer healthy or even safe.
- Not being able to voice your feelings It’s important to be able to speak honestly in a relationship about how you feel. You should be able to be yourself and speak your mind. A relationship in which you feel too afraid to do this isn’t healthy. In the early days, you might not feel comfortable opening up about every little thing. But as the relationship progresses, you should feel safe enough to be yourself and open up about your emotions. Your feelings do matter!
- Constant conflict and hostility A relationship can’t be healthy if it’s a constant source of conflict and hostility. It’s okay to have disagreements and rough patches. But for your relationship to provide nothing but fighting, name-calling, insults, and stress is a huge sign that it’s no longer good for you.
- Your friends worrying about you We can’t always see the truth ourselves. Sometimes, we need loved ones to help point things out to us. If your loved ones—your family and friends whom you trust—all tend to agree that your relationship isn’t healthy, then maybe they’re onto something. This isn’t always the case as every situation is different. But, in general, if most people share the opinion that the relationship isn’t working, and they want what’s best for you, it might be worth thinking about further.
- Resentment and needing to keep the score Things can get petty between two people in a relationship. They might feel competitive about certain things. But resentment shouldn’t be one of the primary pillars of the relationship. If it is, the relationship probably isn’t that healthy. Whether it’s resentment because one person is more successful than the other or because of a past incident that keeps resurfacing, it’s not in the recipe for a happy relationship. Needing to keep the score with someone you’re supposed to love is draining and toxic.
- Passive-aggressive comments rather than honest discussions Honesty should be a huge part of your relationship. So it’s a sign that things aren’t that healthy if you never have honest discussions. Granted, sometimes honest discussions are uncomfortable. But it’s better to put those things on the table and talk about them rather than to brush them under the rug. That’s especially true if you’re going to vent your feelings anyway with passive-aggressive comments.
