What Is A Platonic Soulmate & How Do You Know When You’ve Found Yours?

Most people don’t think they can have a platonic soulmate since the term usually has a romantic connotation to it. However, this kind of connection can absolutely be with someone you’re not dating! You don’t have to be sleeping with someone or call them your boyfriend or girlfriend to be deeply connected in a way you can’t describe. Does this sound like your situation? Here are some signs you’ve found your platonic soulmate.

What is a platonic soulmate?

When most people hear the word “soulmate,” they immediately conjure visions of a grand romance, of being swept off their feet by their perfect other, the knight in shining armor they’ve been waiting their whole lives for. And while romantic soulmates do exist for many people, there’s nothing to say that deep connection has to be between people who are sexually attracted to one another.

Platonic soulmates can be friends or even family members with whom you have a deep affinity. It’s almost an unspoken bond between you that neither person can quantify or explain. In many ways, it’s as if you knew one another in another life and have an implicit understanding of one another’s nature. It’s rare to find, but it does exist.

Signs you’ve found yours

  1. You just understand each other. You may have an instant recognition the first time that you meet and it never really goes away. No matter what situation you’re in, you feel comfortable with them. No matter what kind of day you’re having, they see you and they understand you and meet you where you’re at. You don’t have to explain what’s going on or what might have happened. Your platonic soulmate picks up on your feelings and emotions and instantly understands.
  2. Your friendship is easy to maintain. Some friendships take so much work they are exhausting. Because you and your platonic soulmate have that mutual understanding and you get each other, your friendship appears to be effortless. Even when your other friendships are struggling because of work, distance, or other commitments, a platonic soulmate never feels this way. The friendship between you and this person just keeps getting easier. It doesn’t matter if you’re having a serious conversation or just hanging out – every moment is a joy.
  3. You’re 100% yourself around them. It’s pretty amazing when you can find a friend that makes you feel completely comfortable and at home in your own skin. Often times we feel pressure to act, think, dress, etc. a certain way in order to impress friends or have things in common with them but a platonic soulmate will love you just the way you are even if the two of you happen to be total opposites.
  4. You can trust them with your secrets. Being able to trust your friends is so important in order to have strong relationships with them. If you find a person that you know will keep all of your deepest, most personal secrets safe and you feel comfortable sharing everything with them no matter what it is, it’s possible that you’ve found your platonic soulmate.
  5. They’re supportive at all times. No matter what you’re doing and where you’re at in life, your platonic soulmate is in your corner. If you are going through good times or bad times, they provide support. They give love and encouragement and they prop you up when you need it. Unquestioning support like this is hard to find.
  6. They don’t pressure you in anything. Peer pressure is real and unfortunately, it’s not something we always leave in high school. Our adult friends can also put pressure on us to do things we may not want to or to be a certain way. Your platonic soulmate will never pressure you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with or to be anyone that you aren’t. They’ll respect and understand that you are who you are and they’ll love and accept you no matter what.
  7. They keep your equilibrium balanced. When you’re having a difficult time emotionally, your platonic soulmate is there to help you feel calm and to nurture you. They know just what you need in order to get yourself and your emotions back on track. You may not even know what is bothering you or what you need to fix it, but they do.
  8. It doesn’t matter how far apart you live from each other. A true platonic soulmate can live on the other side of the world and it will still find a way to be there for you. You don’t need to chat every single day or be on the phone all the time to keep your connection strong. With this kind of connection, you can be anywhere or you can have time apart and your connection still remains strong.

More qualities of a platonic soulmate

  1. They help you grow. It’s almost as if your platonic soulmate knew you in another life. They understand you in a way no one else does and they know what you need to move forward. So, when you’re stuck in a rut, they’ll help you grow and become a better person as you learn the lessons these experiences impart. They can help you see the situation from a different angle and guide you to the right course of action.
  2. They may have shown up at the hardest time in your life. Platonic soulmates tend to be attracted to each other when one or the other is going through a very difficult time. Someone may have experienced a tragedy or may be especially weak emotionally. You may not have even known that you needed them at the moment or that they needed you, but your souls called out to each other and answered. It’s like it’s fate.
  3. They never judge you. No matter how different you are or what your experiences have been, you don’t judge each other. They simply listen, understand, and provide support even if they need to offer constructive criticism or hold you accountable. In a world where you often have to hide who you really are to avoid being criticized or judged, where you have to keep your mouth closed because others may not like what you say, your platonic soulmate will never require that from you. They never make you feel bad about yourself.
  4. You don’t have to explain yourself to them. A platonic soulmate doesn’t always agree with everything you do or say but they accept you as you are. They love you for you and they know that you feel the same way about them. There is no keeping score between you because each of you accepts the other completely.
  5. They never feel threatened by you. There can be a lot of insecurity and jealousy within friends groups and unfortunately, even our close friends might rejoice in our downfalls because it makes them feel better about themselves. Your platonic soulmate will ALWAYS celebrate your successes. They will always be genuinely happy and excited for you when good things happen in your life. They won’t ever be threatened or jealous of you.
  6. They check in on you. We all get busy in life and things like family, kids, and work have a tendency to take over every spare minute of our time. It can be hard to remember to check in on everyone in your life but your true platonic soulmate will always remember and check up on you to make sure you’re good. In return, you’ll always remember to check on them too.
  7. You have fun no matter what you’re doing. Platonic soulmates don’t need a specific plan to have fun. They don’t a huge event to attend or a ton of money to spend on a dope vacation. Platonic soulmates can have fun just hanging around, lying on the couch, taking a drive to nowhere, or talking about life. A true, platonic soulmate is someone that makes you feel good just by being present. There doesn’t have to be a lot involved in it.
  8. You tell each other like it is. As much as a true, platonic soulmate will love you and accept you no matter what, they’ll also be the one to call you out when you need to be. They’ll be the one to be honest with you and give it to you straight. It won’t be their intention to ever hurt you or make you feel bad but they’ll want to give you the truth in order to help you.
Danielle has been a freelance writer for 20+ years. She lives in Canada with her dog Rogue and drinks a lot if coffee.