In a healthy relationship, all the wonderful things about your life are that much better because you get to share them with someone you love. When things aren’t really working out, however, your partnership won’t just make you unhappy, it could totally ruin your life. Here are 9 signs it’s time to call it quits:
- Your mood is volatile and dependent on him. He texts you and instantly your day is made! The sun is shining and you’re nothing but smiles. When he cancels plans or takes forever to respond, however, your mood takes a nosedive and you become impossible to be around. Contrary to popular belief, these types of mood swings aren’t common (unless you’ve been medically diagnosed with something). The highs are high and the lows are way too low, and that’s never a good sign.
- Happy couples make you sick. Are you jealous of other couples instead of enjoying your own relationship? That’s not a good thing. If you’re officially taken but you still can’t help but covet what everyone else has, from the couples on TV to the ones you see walking down the street on the way to work, it’s probably a sign that you’re with the wrong guy.
- He’s always on your mind. Your first thought every morning? Him. The last thought you have before you go to sleep? Yep, him again. You may think this means you’re in love, but it’s really an early sign of a disease called obsession! Obviously you should be thinking about him, but he shouldn’t be your only thought. You need to have a life outside of him. Otherwise, what will you have when the relationship inevitably ends?
- You never have any clue what he’s thinking. Is he mad at you? Happy? What? The dude is an enigma — you have no idea what’s going on in his head. It seems like he gets a kick out of being the mysterious one in the relationship, but whoever said being mysterious is attractive was dead wrong. If I wanted to solve some sort of puzzle, I’d pull out my grandma’s jigsaws — ain’t nobody got time for that!
- He calls all the shots — and worse, you’re letting him. He says jump and you ask how high. He makes all the plans and decisions and you’re beholden to his schedule. You both work and have plenty of responsibilities so it’s not like he’s any busier than you are… and yet, you wait for him to initiate every conversation! Why? Because you know deep down that if you text first, he probably won’t reply. Not cool! You’re not a faucet — don’t let him turn you on and off at his convenience.
- You’re constantly making excuses for him. Why didn’t he call when he said he would? “He forgot.” Why did he randomly bail on plans? “He’s too tired, he works a lot.” Why didn’t he answer any of your texts today? “He fell asleep.” Why doesn’t he ever tell you how he feels about you? “He’s insecure and shy.” LIES! He’s a grown man who knows full well how to communicate. Making excuses for him is basically rewarding him for being a jerk— he shouldn’t be rewarded for that! The more you have to defend him, the more toxic the relationship probably is.
- Your phone is always attached to you. You can’t go anywhere without your phone — not even the bathroom. You’re scared that if you miss his call or wait longer than 30 seconds to reply, you won’t hear from him for the rest of the day. It’s horrible to have to keep checking your phone for a text message, even though you’ve got the volume maxed out and know right well you haven’t heard a message tone. Girl, no.
- You know your relationship is toxic. You’re fully aware that he’s a manipulative jerk. That’s the worst part — you know, but you’re still with him. Maybe you don’t think you can do any better or maybe you have hope that he’ll change, but you can and he won’t. Hope is a crippling thing and you can’t let it paralyze you in this relationship. He sucks. Period. The End.
- Your friends are worried about you. You aren’t the only one who knows your relationship is toxic — everyone around you can see it! Your friends, family, and probably even the people in front of you at Starbucks who can hear you arguing with him while you wait to order your double espresso shot. Your relationship defines how you act that day and the people around you get you at your best and your worst. If the people in your life are questioning your relationship, there’s probably a reason. Listen to them!