It’s easy to “love” someone three weeks into the relationship. You’re totally selfless because your impression game is on. There are few arguments because you’re walking on eggshells and he never sees you without a Snapchat filter. However, this is when you know that your love has progressed past the puppy dog feelings and has actually reached the real stages of caring for someone.
The butterflies aren’t there now, but he still is.
When I see my fiancé get out of his truck in a sexy suit, butterflies don’t go crazy inside my stomach. Instead, I’m just relieved that he made it home from work safely. The little hot factors that I used to go insane for don’t matter anymore. What makes me weak-kneed over him now is the way that he’s always loyal, always there.
Petty arguments no longer exist.
As an overly-obsessive worrier, I always found reasons for us to argue. “Do you like me just for my family?”; “Are you sure you want to be with me for me… and not because you couldn’t find anyone else?”; “How many girls have you slept with? Because I’m not in this relationship for sex.” The poor guy got hammered with emotional, random questions that would nearly always cause a disagreement. But more than a year later, we don’t disagree over those sorts of insecure topics. The only things we argue over now are menu selections for our wedding reception and the colors we should paint our soon-to-be home.
You don’t second guess everything you say, wear, etc.
He’s been there for moments when I prayed before dinner, and he’s been there when I’m trying not to flick off the man who almost smashed into my car. He knows what I look like in a formal gown with fake eyelashes, and he knows what I look like two seconds after I’ve thrown up. We’ve reached that point where we are just comfortable with each other. There’s no pressure to impress anymore.
His sarcasm/jokes don’t offend you like they did before.
For the first six months that we dated, he couldn’t joke about me, with me, or anything like that without making me cry. I took everything he said straight to heart. Now, I’m the one leading the cutthroat jokes and making fun of the couple of pounds that he’s gained since we started dating. We both dish out the crude humor, but we both take it now too.
You find yourself speaking your mind, even in front of his family, friends, and coworkers.
I knew that I finally felt comfortable being myself around my fiancé and his family when I stopped filtering my beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. Not that I was ever disrespectful to anyone, but once I knew that he loved me for me, I didn’t tiptoe around what I wanted to say to avoid offending him or anyone else he knows.
When he forgets the little details, you honestly don’t get your feelings hurt.
It’s been over a year, and the man still thinks my birthday is March 18th… he’s only three days off, so I don’t get too upset. No, but for real, those sorts of things don’t bug me when he treats me like it’s my birthday every day. The nitty-gritty details can’t outweigh the overarching theme that he continuously puts me first.
There’s not an obligation to send a long, sappy “Good night, babe” text with five million heart emojis.
No one gets offended over one-worded text messages anymore. It’s no longer a “who-texts-who-first” game. We don’t expect sappy emojis, either. At this point, it’s understood that we have real-life bills, events, and plans coming up that need to be the center of our text conversations. We can save the overly-romantic pet names, cheesy jokes, and stupid memes for when we actually see each other in person.
Napping parties are now acceptable date nights.
Initially, he won me over with rock climbing adventures and fancy dining dates, but now, it’s completely ok for a date night to be nothing more than us taking a nap. Life is crazy. Time is valuable. And when you’re buying a house, you’re too broke to actually go anywhere. So we might as well slow things down, save some money, and be most productive by getting some well-deserved rest.
When he says, “I love you,” you don’t doubt it because he’s proven it over and over again.
He doesn’t have to say those three magic words anymore just to reassure me that he’s 100% mine. He doesn’t have to say, “I love you,” just to make my heart flutter, either. Now, he just uses the infamous phrase because it’s that constant, sure thing that he knows in his head and heart. And it’s what I know for a fact, whether he says it out loud or proves it by his actions.
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