9 Signs You And Your Ex Have Unfinished Business

Your relationship may have officially ended, but that doesn’t mean it’s entirely over. You might call him your ex but the two of you may have unfinished business. How do you know when it’s just taking longer to get over him or when there are parts of your relationship that you still need to deal with? Here are some signs that you and your ex aren’t finished quite yet.

  1. You keep reading over old texts. If it was truly over between the two of you, those texts and messages wouldn’t even be on your phone anymore but they are and you can’t stop looking at them. In fact, you read them over and over again. You’re likely looking for some answers to questions you have. Why did it end? Did you do something wrong? If you didn’t find the answers there before, you likely aren’t going to find them now.
  2. He still seeks you out. He turns up in the places you frequent like your favorite coffee shop, the store where you buy your groceries, or your laundromat. It’s not like you saw him there a lot before – he’s clearly looking for excuses to run into you. Maybe it wasn’t really over. Maybe you guys need to have a talk.
  3. You can’t help asking his friends how he’s doing. You’re not trying to run into them but if you live in the same town or city and frequent the same places, it’s bound to happen at some point. You could just have some idle chit-chat and move on, but at some point, you blurt it out. How is he doing? Part of you wants to know he’s still thinking about you because there’s something that the two of you didn’t deal with before you broke up.
  4. He continues a relationship with your family. You’re talking to your mom or dad and they casually mention something he said when he called. Or. your dad lets it slip that your ex came over and helped him fix the car. Why is he even still in their lives? He’s not ready to let go of you. You should find out why and what you plan to do about it.
  5. You still creep on his social media. You’ve resolved to stay friends so you haven’t unfriended him. However, you should hide his posts so that he’s not in your face all the time at the very least. Not only have you not hidden his posts, you go directly to his profile and scroll through it often. You ask yourself what this post means and if that meme was intended for you.
  6. He still talks about you. You’re bound to have a fair amount of friends in common if you were together for any length of time. When you talk to a mutual friend, they mention that he was wondering how your marathon training is going or if you got that promotion you were working for. It has to be more than just casual conversation, right?
  7. You can’t resist driving by his place. It’s only a couple blocks out of your way, you tell yourself. Or, maybe you’re anticipating a faster route. Or the roads are bad in the other direction. You look for excuses to do a drive-by. Then you torture yourself by wondering if that car belongs to someone new he’s seeing or why he’s still not home so late at night.
  8. He sends you memes and tags you in social media posts. He needs to know you’re still in his life so he makes sure you know that he’s thinking of you. If he’s still sending you the Yoda memes he knows you love or tagging you in Facebook posts, he’s still thinking of you. Does he just want to be friends or is there something else going on there?
  9. You make an extra effort to be in each other’s lives. The two of you aren’t done yet. It might mean that your relationship is not over or it could mean there are unanswered questions. Whatever the reality is, you aren’t ready to let each other go and you show it by popping up in each other’s lives to make sure that you aren’t forgotten.

Ending a relationship is always hard. If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t have ended. Maybe it wasn’t meant to end and you just have to deal with some issues first. Or, maybe it needs to end but neither of you can let go until you have it out. If you think there is unfinished business with your ex, have a sit-down and hash it out. It will be hard to move on until you do.

Danielle has been a freelance writer for 20+ years. She lives in Canada with her dog Rogue and drinks a lot if coffee.