9 Signs You’re Too Close With Your Ex

9 Signs You’re Too Close With Your Ex ©iStock/Ridofranz

Things just weren’t working out and that’s why you broke up. Whether something serious went down or one or both of you just wasn’t feeling it anymore, you aren’t together because you weren’t meant to be. And yet, instead of giving each other the space to move on, you stayed close. Here are 9 signs you’re a little too close for comfort:

  1. You compare every guy to him. You need to face the reality that your ex isn’t better than every other guy out there. That notion is all in your head. You only think he’s better because you’re not giving other guys a real chance. You can’t give in to something new because you’re still hanging on to the old.
  2. One of you is still hung up on the other. The love of your past is standing in the way of your future. As long as you’re still hung up, neither of you will ever be able to truly move on. Your new relationships will just keep failing and deep down as long as you still love him, you won’t want any other love to succeed.
  3. Your friends are totally weirded out by your “friendship.” Your friends are looking out for your best interest even when you’re not looking out for yourself. If you’re friends and family think you’re too close, they’re probably right. You might think that no one else understands, but maybe they understand something you don’t — that you’ll never move on if you’re still somewhat together.
  4. He makes new guys uncomfortable. If you’re so close with your ex that it’s a turn off to every guy you meet, then something needs to change. Is staying tight with your ex really worth never finding happiness with someone else? If you’re will to give up your own happiness for him, then he’s way too big of a priority in your life.
  5. You still “check in” with each other. He always knows where you are and what you’re doing. It’s perfectly fine to check in with your boyfriend, but not with your ex. You need to stop being so damn involved in each other’s business. He doesn’t need to be in constant contact. What you really need to learn is how to live your life without him.
  6. Jealousy is still ever-present. If he moved on, like really moved on, you’d be hurt. Even when he has a new girlfriend you’re a little jealous, and he’s the same way with your love life. You think it means you still care, but it means you still care too much. He’s not your boyfriend anymore, and you both need to feel free to move the hell on without worrying about hurting each other.
  7. You talk every day. If it’s really over then your ex shouldn’t still be a part of your daily routine. He’s not your boyfriend anymore, so stop acting like he is. That’s the real problem here. Only two things changed when you broke up — you stopped having sex and stopped using labels. You can’t just say you’re not together, you have to actually be apart.
  8. He’s your emotional stability. It’s time to cut the cord once and for all. There’s a reason exes don’t stay friends — you need to leave your heart open for someone new. How can anyone ever truly hold that place in your heart if it’s still occupied? You need to be able to move on from the breakup and on with your life without him or you’ll never have an emotional connection with someone new.
  9. You still hang out one on one. It’s one thing if you are trying to stay in the same friend group, it’s another if you’re still trying to be each other’s besties. You need to let go of the relationship you had, even the close friendship you built. That bond needs to be severed and the longer you hold on, the harder it is to move on and let go.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.