If you’ve been enjoying being part of a committed but not-so-serious relationship, you could miss out on signs that you’re actually ready for something more, like being wifed up. The signs can be subtle and easily overlooked, but there are ways to tell that you’re ready to settle down for good.
What does it mean to be “wifed up”?
To put it simply, it means that you’re locked down into a long-term relationship. While this more often than not signifies marriage, you don’t necessarily need to walk down the aisle. It could also simply mean that you’re part of a couple that plans to spend the rest of your lives together with or without saying “I do.”
People often use the term “wifed up” colloquially as a way of saying that they’re taken or in a very intense/serious relationship. If someone says they want to wife you up, they’re saying they want to commit to you exclusively. You get the picture.
Signs you’re ready for this level of commitment
- You know exactly what you want. In life and love, you’re completely assured about what it is you want and don’t want. You’ve taken the time to get to know every detail of what you’re looking for and you couldn’t be more positive about what that is.
- You fantasize about your wedding day. So much so that you know what color scheme you want, the wedding dress you’ll wear and everything in between. You no longer get scared when thinking about the big day because you’re too busy anticipating it, whenever it comes.
- You don’t want to get married just to have a lavish wedding. You realize that weddings are just one extravagant party to celebrate your love, and that’s great. But when you think about getting married, you’re more excited about your lives as long-term partners more than anything else.
- You already consider him in everything you do. The thought of having to think for two isn’t scary to you at all. You’d prefer to be able to work together towards common goals and sharing everything is becoming more and more exciting. Besides, you already consider his thoughts and feelings in every decision you make — it’s natural.
- You can easily picture growing old with him. You could daydream for hours about what it’d be like to marry him, have kids, watch your kids have kids, go gray, retire and basically live happily ever after, all by his side. In fact, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
- You don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything. When you used to think about settling down, the thoughts of missing out on the fun parts of your single life were pretty unbearable. Now, the only thing you think you’d miss out on is getting the chance to walk down that isle towards the love of your life.
- You’re already complete all on your own. You know what it’s like to be on your own and you’re not only comfortable with your own company, you love it. You aren’t looking to be completed — you’re looking to be supplemented.
- Save the date cards excite you. And not because you know you’ll be getting free food and booze. You’re actually excited for weddings because you know the amount of love that’s going to be in that room is inspiring.
- You’ve mastered the art of compromise. When it comes to conflict, you know how to do it properly so that both parties can communicate their needs and come to a compromise that benefits everyone involved. Through trial and error, you know how to handle conflict like a boss.
How sex changes when you’re wifed up
There’s no getting around it — sex is different when you’re in a serious long-term relationship or married. It doesn’t matter which of my girlfriends I talk to about this, everyone admits the same things. The sex you have when you’re younger and not tied down is something special, but it’s not the same as the amazing and fun sex you have when you’re wifed up. Here’s why:
- You feel less like you need to impress him. You know how it is when you start seeing or sleeping with someone new. You want to be a sex goddess and impress him in bed so he thinks about you all day long. Serious relationship sex doesn’t have that kind of pressure — you already know he’s into you, so you get to relax and just have fun.
- You’re less self-conscious. He digs you, right? Obvi- that’s why you’re his partner. When you’re single or casually dating, you feel like you need to be a model with amazing T & A. It can be a little stressful, but in a serious relationship, you know he loves you just as you are. Right on.
- You’re more likely to try things that make you uncomfortable. Maybe its just me, but when I was dating guys I didn’t love or care about, I wasn’t willing to try things I didn’t like or didn’t think I’d like. Now that I’m married and I know I can trust the dude I’m sleeping with, my inhibitions are MIA because no matter what happens, he’s still my husband.
- Sometimes the sex is very vanilla and that’s okay. I like vanilla! There’s comfort and normalcy in plain old missionary style sex. Something about being in a serious relationship makes even the basics comfortable and romantic. It’s nice to just get naked and connect with your partner without it being all athletic or sweaty.
- Sometimes you have to schedule it in. Relationships are hard, we all know that. Our lives our busy, we’re overwhelmed with life in general and we’re tired — so sometimes sex isn’t our top priority. While that’s okay occasionally, it shouldn’t be a regular occurrence. Sometimes you have to break out the planner and schedule it in. Make it happen!
- You’re less afraid to speak up. I was less likely to complain to a guy I didn’t care too much about if he sucked at oral. I see the error of my ways now. The beauty of serious relationship sex is you’re way more comfortable telling him what you want and don’t want and how you like it — and he’s way more likely to listen. #winning
- It can be a sensitive part of your relationship. While sex is meant to relieve stress and anxiety, it can sometimes cause it. If one partner is too tired all of the time or if the other partner doesn’t feel sexy anymore, you can quickly become at odds about your sex life. It can put a strain on a relationship that you’ve never experienced with your less serious partners, but it shouldn’t have to be. Communication is key.
- There’s so much trust. You don’t have to worry that he will tell his friends, make fun of you or stop calling because the sex wasn’t great. You can feel totally at ease because he loves you and you trust him. It’s a beautiful thing.
- It’s the best sex of your life. At the end of the day, the sex you have with your husband — the guy who’s there for you for better or worse, in sickness and in health, will likely be the best sex you ever have in your life. Isn’t that awesome?