9 Signs You’re Sabotaging Your Own Love Life

When it comes to love, sometimes you’re your own worst enemy. If you’re sitting on a pile of failed relationships, maybe you’re casting the blame in the wrong direction. Here are 9 signs that you’re sabotaging your own love life:

  1. You’ve given up hope. If you’ve already settled on the idea that you are going to end up alone, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Stay positive about your love life or you might just miss out on the one.
  2. You live in a fantasy. If you prefer your dream world to reality, it’s going to get in the way of your love life. You can’t build up emotions in your brain. Stay in the moment and let your relationship grow naturally in real life, not your head.
  3. You indulge in your nightmares. You can’t help but think about the worst possible relationships scenarios. Indulging in these twisted daydreams will cause you to question reality and shatter any trust your relationship has built. Don’t feed the fear.
  4. You hold yourself back. You’ve been hurt before. Been there, done that, and in the end you’re not entirely sure if it was worth it. You might keep dating, but you save yourself from jumping so you’ll never feel the plunge of heartbreak again.
  5. You’ve lost your self-esteem. You’ll always be your biggest critic, so why do you trust the little voice in your head when it stands alone? Friends that are happy to remind you of all your greatest qualities surround you every day. So why don’t you believe them?
  6. You don’t believe you deserve love. Everyone in this world deserves to be loved, so why not you? No matter what mistakes you have made in the past, you deserve to be happy. Don’t sell yourself short, keep your head up, and love will find you when you least expect it.
  7. You hope to change a man. Going after men who are emotionally unavailable will only leave you with heartbreak. You can’t change anyone else, so stop trying. Choose to date men who are ready to open themselves up to you and commit without hesitation.
  8. You stay in toxic relationships. When things head south, you’re desperately trying to repair the damage. You have all the signs that you need to get out and your relationship is headed for failure. You stay with Mr. Wrong anyway, rather than getting out and opening yourself up for Mr. Right.
  9. You need to be in control. Take the reigns on your own life, but your partner needs to be free to live theirs. At some point you’ll have to face it, you can’t control everything. Crap happens — that’s life.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.