When I started dating my current girlfriend, I was surprised by how awesome she thought I was. I mean, I try to be a good partner, but doesn’t everyone? Apparently not. Before me, she’d only dated men and all of them seemed pretty clueless about how to treat a woman. Here are the very basic things I do for my S.O. that make her think I’m so awesome.
I text her back in a timely manner. This is so simple. Planning time together takes a bit of work, but texting back should be a given. I’m pretty consistent about responding as soon as I see her text if I can. If I don’t, it’s usually for a good reason. Texting just really isn’t that hard. Even when I’m busy, just a quick “hey, I’m busy now, chat later?” is better than saying nothing.
I want her to stay over without wanting to have sex. The first time I asked my girlfriend to stay over, it was because she was over for a party and it was late. She said she would love to stay and it was kind of me to offer—sex wasn’t even on the table. When we went to bed, we just wanted to sleep. Since then, she’s stayed over many times when we haven’t had sex at all. As I understand it, sexless sleepovers don’t happen until the later stages of a standard heterosexual relationship. For us, the first time she stayed over was completely sex-free.
I wanted to introduce her to my friends and meet hers. When I told her how much I wanted her to meet my friends and to come to parties with us, she didn’t believe me at first. She’d turn down invites to get-togethers because she worried she was intruding. When she brought me to a party and I told her how excited I was to meet her friends, she thought that was unbelievably sweet of me. It’s taken a couple months now for her to realize that both my friends and I actually like having her around when we hang out and that I enjoy getting to know people in her life.
I wanted to meet her mom. Meeting the parents is usually a later step in a relationship, so I can understand how she avoided this if she never got very far into a relationship. However, my girlfriend’s mom is disabled and needs help, so she lives at home with her. She’s a big part of my GF’s life, so naturally I wanted to meet her. I figured this was a basic step in our relationship but it meant a lot to her that I wanted to be a real part of her life and get to know the person she spent the most time with. Her previous boyfriends had never asked.
I make her food sometimes. Because my girlfriend lives with her family, when we spend time together, it’s usually at my apartment—and because I’m frugal, we usually eat in. This means I cook. Sometimes we cook and bake together, but I’ll also sometimes have dinner ready when she comes over or I’ll wake up before her to make breakfast. I swear, this nearly moves her to tears. No one has ever cooked for her before. I enjoy cooking, so it’s well worth my time to cook for the both of us. It still means an awful lot to her, which also makes me love doing it that much more.
I surprise her sometimes. Our first holiday as a couple was her birthday. She had to work all day and evening so I couldn’t see her but I decided to order flowers to be delivered to her workplace. She works two jobs and before she left the first one, the flowers arrived and she got a message from her second job saying she had a package. Her first thought was that it was probably an anthrax attack because she’d never received a delivery at work before. It didn’t even occur to her that it might have to do with her birthday. When she saw what it was, I honestly don’t know what made her happier: seeing the flowers or realizing that no one was trying to kill her.
I drive her places. When we first got together, she didn’t have a car, so instead of her trying to finagle a way to get to a place for a date, I would offer to drive her. Every time I did, she would insist I didn’t have to and it was going above and beyond. I just wanted to see her. It was often possible that if I didn’t go get her, she wouldn’t make it to wherever we had planned to go, so of course I wanted to pick her up. Still, driving her without the expectation of something in return isn’t something she takes for granted. She still appreciates when I do this but now that she has a car, she often returns the favor.
I care about her pleasure in bed. I won’t get into too much graphic detail here. Suffice it to say, achieving orgasm during sex used to be a rarity for her. With me, that’s no longer the case. This isn’t because I’m just so good at sex, it’s because when we have sex, I make sure she’s enjoying herself. Afterward, I make sure she’s satisfied. That’s really all there is to it.
I love cuddling just as much as she does. Even when she’s not sleeping over, I love to cuddle in bed, even if it neither precedes nor follows sex. Sometimes, a lady just wants to cuddle with her lady and that’s it. My girlfriend loves this as much as I do. I would even say we cuddle way more than we do anything else.
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