9 Struggles Of Being A Woman Who Finds It Hard To Say No

You’re nice. You’re so nice. You’re so nice that it kills you. OK, fine, maybe you’re not as nice as everyone thinks. And maybe the reason people think that about you is because you just have such a hard time telling people no. Really, all you’re trying to do is avoid drama, but instead you have to struggle with these:

You find yourself in places you don’t want to be and you wonder how you got there. It’s midnight on a Sunday and you’re still at the bar with your best friend, who insisted on one more drink. You’re going to hate yourself when the alarm clock rings.

You end up dating the wrong guys all the time. You’re not sure if he’s a match for you, but it’s not like you’ve got guys lining up around the block to take you out. And besides, you’d rather sit through a few bad dates than work up the nerve to reject him right away.

People are always taking advantage of you or asking too many favors. Actually, you’d really rather not watch your neighbor’s cat from hell while she jets off to Miami for the weekend, but you want to keep the peace.

Your friends choose you, instead of vice versa. Your passive tendencies mean you often just end up being friends by default with more outgoing people who are always asking you to hang out. You know you should really find a group of friends better suited to you, but they just make it so easy and you hate coming up with creative excuses to turn them down.

You always end up getting volunteered for things. People know you’re dependable, so they want you to be the one that handles your church’s food drive or leads your sorority’s community service group. You see right through the flattery that people use to butter you up to accept, but you just go ahead and do it anyway.

You never get to be the one to choose where you eat. Really? Chinese takeout again? I mean, I guess, if you really want.

You take on work at the office that’s not really your responsibility. And we’re not just talking about getting coffee. We’re talking about all of those times when your boss tells you that, congratulations, you’re just so capable that he’s going to let you do some of his work, too, even though you’re already working your ass off. Ugh.

Sometimes you’re quiet for so long that when it’s finally too much, you explode. You’re willing to take some BS. OK, you’re willing to take a lot of BS. But damn it, there’s a line. And when someone crosses that line, beware.

People are always surprised when you stick up for yourself. You’re willing to be agreeable and let the little things slide, but that doesn’t mean you’re a total pushover. So when you do stand your ground, people are always like, “Where did that come form??” Um, hello. You’re a conflict avoider, but you’re not an idiot.

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