Sometimes, as human beings, we can’t help but have high expectations when it comes to other people’s behavior, especially when it comes to relationships. However, when we expect so much from a guy and he doesn’t deliver, we can’t help but feel disappointed. Perhaps we need to learn not to expect so much from guys, ladies.
It’s good to have some expectations. There’s a difference between learning to be more accepting of situations and putting up with being treated badly all the time. For instance, you can empathize with a guy for canceling a date because his grandma was in the hospital even though you were disappointed. However, it’d be a little harder to understand why he keeps kissing other girls on nights out with his friends just because he’s drunk. The bottom line? You deserve to be treated well—never believe or accept otherwise.
People are different. How one person chooses to act in a situation can be completely different to how another person chooses to handle it. If we’re expecting certain things from guys all the time, we base these expectations on how we want them to act, but just because we want them to act in a certain way doesn’t mean that they’re going to. Ultimately, they’re going to do what they want to do, and that’s out of our control.
You can’t judge someone based on how you would act in a situation. You’re not them. You don’t have their thoughts and feelings. It can be so easy to point the finger and be like, “Well, I wouldn’t do or say that, therefore he shouldn’t have done or said that.” But how do you know you wouldn’t have done or said what he did in that situation unless you were in it yourself? Think about it.
Emotions influence behavior. The majority of the time, there’s a reason people act the way that they do. They don’t just do things to annoy other people on purpose. They’re often thinking of themselves, what they’re thinking and feeling, and don’t consider others. A little bit selfish? Perhaps. When it comes to guys, it’s the same story. If he hasn’t messaged you for a few days after an amazing first date, there’ll be a reason. You just have to be patient to get to the bottom of it. (That or, you know, message him first and find out what the deal is.)
It’s not the end of the world if he lets you down. Sure, whatever he’s said or done, it hurts. I get it. But it’s probably not the first time this has happened and it probably won’t be the last. We all screw up at times (including guys)—it’s how we handle it that matters.
He’s only human. Like I said, we all make mistakes. It’s part and parcel of being a human being. If you made a mistake impacting the guy you’re dating, or someone else in general, you’d like to think that they’d find the strength to listen and forgive you. Therefore, don’t you think you should show the other person the same courtesy? Sometimes, if you believe that he’s a good egg, you just have to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Remember that he’s a man. Always remember that he has a penis and not a vagina. Guys act completely different to us at times; after all, it’s scientifically proven that their genetic makeup is different. They have alternative hormones, which affects their emotions, which affects their behavior. At the end of the day, there’s a reason why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars.
You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. If you expect all the time, then I’m afraid that you’re setting yourself to be hurt. However, if you learn to be more accepting instead, you could well save yourself the potential heartache and be able to move on and move forward from situations more quickly. You can kick and scream and say it isn’t fair that he wants to date other people and not just you after his recent breakup, but what are you really going to achieve by doing this? The situation will remain the same. It’s how you choose to progress with it which matters.
Be kind. Always. As I said before, there might be underlying reasons why he’s acting a certain way that he’s too afraid to articulate at this point. The trick is to be as patient and understanding as you possibly can in those type of situations. However, if he continues to mess you around repeatedly and blatantly doesn’t give a damn, then that’s a different story. Dump him. Pronto.
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