What I’ve Learned After Being Rejected For What Feels Like The Millionth Time

What I’ve Learned After Being Rejected For What Feels Like The Millionth Time ©iStock/marinovicphotography

Rejection never gets easier, even if you’ve experienced it a million times. It always hurts to be made to feel (or even outright told) that you’re not good enough or not right for someone you really liked, but it’s not all bad news. In fact, dealing with so much rejection has taught me a ton about love and life in general.

  1. The movies got it wrong. Despite the way it’s portrayed in movies, most guys aren’t total dirtbags when they’re not into you. Most of them actually reject you as politely as they can and let you down easy. If they can’t tell you they’re not into you, they’d at least hint on it so they don’t waste your time and you can move on to the next guy who may be worth it.
  2. Social media can destroy and help. Since social media is a significant part of our daily lives, it also plays a huge role in the way we search for a potential S.O. How you use it will tell you whether you’ll get laid or you’ll get someone who’ll take you seriously enough to take you to an actual romantic date before wanting to get into your pants.
  3. You can never control people’s feelings. Life’s too short to get so hung up on that guy who obviously doesn’t have the slightest interest in you and doesn’t see all the things that make you such an amazing catch. Don’t waste your time trying to convince him to give you a shot. You’d just look pathetic and you’ll lose dignity over someone who’s not even worth it.
  4. Waiting around for any guy isn’t going to change anything. Almost always, grown men are sure as hell about how they feel. Waiting around them because you think they haven’t got their feelings about you figured out yet and that a relationship with them may be possible is a total waste of your time (and a huge disaster in the making).
  5. Your worth isn’t dependent on how much you’ve been rejectedSo what if he’s the 100th guy who didn’t see how incredible you are? That doesn’t mean you aren’t worth it. You’ll never know if the 101st guy is going to be it, so don’t sit there feeling like it’s the end of the world. Yes, rejection sucks, but you’re so better than it and you know that deep inside, right?
  6. You don’t know who you really are until you’ve been rejected. There’s nothing that can unmask your true self more than constant and seemingly never-ending rejection. It can make you understand who you are as a person and empower you to love yourself despite your flaws, mistakes and regrets.
  7. You’re a lot stronger than you think. Too often you think that you can only take so much rejection and pain, but when you’ve actually been through the ringer more than you can remember, you’ll realize it isn’t that bad. More importantly, you’ll see that you can manage the agony and get out of each painful rejection stronger than ever.
  8. Every “No” will take you closer to the “Yes.” The more rejection you receive, the more lessons you learn. This then results in your dating and men skills becoming better than ever. You can smell a dirtbag even if he’s few meters away from where you’re seated in the bar and you learn not to put up with any BS just to keep a guy. Never think all the rejections were just waste of your time — they’re part of the painful but rewarding process.
  9. You’ll know it when you and Mr. Right’s path finally cross. You may not experience love at first sight the first time you see him, but as you get to know him, you’ll know if he’s the one you’ve been waiting for all this time. He’ll love you the way you deserved to be loved and you’ll be thankful you’ve always stood up despite how many times rejection have knocked you down to the ground.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.