As mothers, we need to raise our girls with strength and independence, but more than that, we need to drill some sense into our boys. The little guys we have in our lives today are going to grow up into men who have women in their lives, whether as friends, lovers, or colleagues. For their sake and mine, this is what I’ll teach my sons about women.
- A no is always a no, even if it’s hard to stop. You lean in for a kiss and she asks you to stop. You go for it anyway and she tells you again to stop. Listen to her. It doesn’t matter what kind of “signals” you’re getting from her or how certain you are that she likes you/is just being coy. If a woman tells you she’s not interested, uncomfortable, or wants you to stop, do so immediately.
- Women are your equals in every way, period. Women aren’t lesser than men, nor are they better than them. Nature has made man and woman as two halves of a whole. The difference in a woman’s physicality, mental makeup, and biology simply make her unique. She isn’t weaker or stronger, she’s her own person with her own thoughts and feelings. You may be able to lift more than her at the gym, but does that really make you stronger? Definitely not. Respect women as your absolute equals—you’ll be glad you did.
- Getting into a woman’s heart is more important than getting into her pants. As much as you’re physically attracted to her, focus on more than just sex. Lust is part of the equation, but if you really want a relationship to work, start slow and get to know her a bit. Romance is rare but always appreciated. Take her out to see the stars, cook a meal for her, take her to see the opera or that play she so badly wanted to see. Get to know her heart and her mind. The sex will be all the hotter for it.
- How a woman dresses has no bearing on her character. She may refuse to wear a bra or spend her summer in shorts that are more like underwear, but that doesn’t mean she’s a slut or a whore. A woman should be able to dress the way they want without being harassed or labeled and judged unfairly. She doesn’t have to justify her wardrobe to you or anyone else. She’s not a prude if she wears a one-piece swimsuit and she’s definitely not “asking for it” if a skimpy bikini is what she wears on a beach. If you respect women, you must respect their right to wear whatever the hell they want.
- Treat a woman well because you care about her, not because you think she’s week. When you open the door for her or make her a meal, do it because you want to help and take a load off her. Don’t marvel at your manly strength or feel like you’re doing her a favor that she couldn’t easily do herself. When you help her out, it makes her feel loved and cherished. She does stuff for you, to show her love for you – man up and do the same.
- Housework’s not a woman’s domain any more than making all the money is yours. When you do the dishes, you aren’t helping her out; when she ignores the dishes and dashes off to a work meeting, she isn’t bringing home the bacon for you. As a couple, you both work together to create a harmonious environment. You both should be doing chores, pursuing fulfilling careers, and living amazing lives for yourselves so that you can share one together.
- If you take care of your kids, it’s called being a parent, not helping their mother out. Feeling very proud about the fact that you changed your kid’s diaper some 10 times? Deflate that ego and get a grip. Your father raised you as much as I did, and he did it because he was your other parent, not because he was helping me out or doing me a favor. Even if I had raised you alone, that doesn’t mean the mother of your children should follow suit. Pull your weight and love your kids. It’ll be one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll have.
- Sleeping around doesn’t make you a stud or her a slut. So you have a few notches on your belt – does that make you hotter? Not really. You’re free to sleep with as many women as you want, so long as they’re consenting, but you have no right to judge a woman for doing the same thing. If you’re proud of your conquests, women can be too. Do what makes you and your partner feel good, but be smart and always practice safe sex.
- A woman’s dreams have the same worth and potential as yours. She may give up her job to be a stay-at-home mom, or maybe she works extra to help you turn your dream of being a writer into reality. Remember that she has her own dreams and her own goals too. When she asks you for some time of her own to work on what desires the most in her life, you need to give her the support, encouragement, and the help that she needs. After all, she gladly does the same for you.