9 Things Your Relationship Self Can Learn From Your Single Self

When you finally meet and fall in love with a great guy, your whole life changes for the better. He’s exactly what you’ve always wanted, but just because you’re in a relationship now doesn’t mean you should forget all the important lessons you learned from being single:

  1. Me time is sacred. It’s totally normal to want to hang out with your new S.O. 24/7, but that doesn’t mean you should. While doing things together helps new couples build a strong foundation, you still need to do your own thing, whether with your friends and family or all on your own. Taking time away from your partner will make the time you’re together that much better.
  2. No guy could ever replace your BFFs. You know you wouldn’t have survived the drudgery of singledom without your besties by your side, so don’t ditch them and your girls’ night out just because you’ve got yourself a new guy to cuddle with now. Sure, they’ll understand if you choose to have a night in every once in a while, but you need to make an effort to keep your connection with your girls strong.
  3. Looking and feeling good is crucial… for yourself. Don’t skip your sweat sessions just because your new boyfriend prefers to stay in and order pizza. Instead, continue to give yourself the same love and care you did when you were single. Don’t be too comfortable with your S.O. to the point of letting yourself go— not because he’ll care, but because your health is everything.
  4. There’s power in the new and spontaneous. Don’t let your new relationship stop you from discovering new things and learning from them, just like you always have. Go join that hiking club and give in to wanderlust whenever you feel the itch. Your new boyfriend won’t resent you for enriching your life — in fact, he might even want to join you sometimes, giving you even more to bond over.
  5. Thinking of the one that got away is a waste of time. You’ve already spent way too much time thinking about that one ex and what could have been if only things worked out differently. Now that you’ve moved on to a new and amazing guy, never fall into the trap of comparing him to your ex. It’ll only screw up your chances of building an amazing love story. Your ex is in your past — he needs to stay there.
  6. Appreciate where you are in life. When you were single, you were eager to be in a relationship. Now that you’re in one, there’s a chance that you may take it for granted or start getting bored. This can be avoided if you stay present and grateful for what you have right in front of you. You don’t want to look back years down the line and realized that you squandered something amazing because you failed to appreciate it while you had it.
  7. You create your own happiness. No matter what your relationship status is, you can be happy in life because your happiness isn’t something you get from another person. Sure, your boyfriend might add to the amazing life you’ve created for yourself, but it wouldn’t all come crashing down if he wasn’t there. You’re in control of your own life and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
  8. Love isn’t something you only find in relationships. Most of us look for love in the wrong places and expect it from the wrong people when, in fact, it has to begin from within ourselves. Until we truly love ourselves, the cliche is true: we have no business loving anyone else. Not only that, but you have friends and family that adore you, as well, and that means so much.
  9. Settling sucks. There are no shortage of guys out there, so it makes no sense to settle until you’ve sure as hell that you’ve found the right guy. You’ve been alone before and you can do it again. Make sure that when you finally give your heart away, it’s to the guy you’ve always dreamed of finding.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.