9 Ways Being Cheated On Changes You

9 Ways Being Cheated On Changes You ©iStock/franckreporter

Anyone who’s ever been cheated on can attest to just how much it destroys you. It becomes this entity all on its own and takes things from you that you didn’t even know could be stolen. Being cheated on by someone you truly love and trust breaks more than just your heart, it can change you forever.

  1. Your self-esteem shatters. After you find out about the incident and the moment of anger for your partner passes, you start to reflect on what it is that you did to cause it. Truth is, you did nothing and your partner just didn’t care enough about you at the time to show you the respect you deserve.
  2. Trusting anyone afterwards is a huge task. Even though you understand that not all guys are the same, when you decide you’re ready to love again, you’ll always have it in the back of your mind. It’s something that you don’t want to allow to ruin you, but it creeps in anyway, no matter how hard you try.
  3. Love becomes incredibly scary. The pain of betrayal stays in your heart a lot longer than you’d care to admit and after cheating happens, falling in love again becomes terrifying. You never want to let another person have that same power over you as your ex did.
  4. You force yourself to care less about love. After a broken heart, the world starts to look a little bleaker. When you start to date again, your hopeful attitude turns into a one-foot-out-the-door type reluctance because you’re not willing to let your guard down enough for it to happen again.
  5. You struggle to keep believing in love. Before you get cheated on, you believe in the idea of love. Afterwards, not so much. It’s as if the incident changed your outlook on love because you can’t very well see it the same as you once did.
  6. A piece of you is taken away. You’re not even quite sure what it is either, you just know that a part of you that you had before getting cheated on is gone. And it doesn’t matter what you do, it feels as though that hole that’s left will never be filled.
  7. You question your own worth. When a partner cheats on you, it’s as if you’re not enough to keep them satisfied — at least that’s what they’re basically saying. When you feel like you’re less than adequate as a person, your ability to love again becomes difficult.
  8. It makes you feel stupid in love. When you find out about the infidelity, you feel ridiculously dumb. You ask yourself how you couldn’t see it and all sort of  other things to put some of the blame on yourself even though it’s not your fault. You continue to dwell on this feeling, making it harder to move on.
  9. It opens your eyes. Sometimes to things you don’t want to see, but at the end of the day, being able to see things for how they truly are can be a good thing. Being cheated on allows you to see things that you may have ignored. You convinced yourself how great your love was even if it wasn’t, and when you get into a new relationship, you’ll be able to see things much more clearly than you had before.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.