9 Ways To Identify A Player, According To A Guy

Players by their nature are smooth operators who know how to get what they want and get out, and this can make it difficult to distinguish them from the good guys. However, if you notice these traits, it’s safe to say you should get out ASAP.

  1. Aggressiveness Players who are just looking for a casual hookup are almost never going to slow-play things. Most good guys will be patient out of either respect or sheer nervousness while players will be quick to flirt with you and offer compliments. They’ll try to get into your good graces quickly so they can look for signs that you’re down for a cheap hookup. This aggressive approach is a surefire sign that he doesn’t really care about you and never will.
  2. Loner status Most players tend to operate alone and won’t be seen with a large group of friends. Yes, they may have a wingman or two, but that’s primarily to help isolate you from your friends so the player can get you alone. A player doesn’t really want to meet your friends and won’t be looking to introduce you to his. He’ll almost always be a lone wolf.
  3. Narcissism Nice guys will usually try to ask you questions about yourself to get to know you even if it comes off a little awkward. Players, on the other hand, tend to be more self-obsessed and prefer to talk about themselves. They feel like they have to sell you on themselves and what makes them special. He may eventually get around to asking about you, but a guy who thinks talking about himself is the way to win you over is probably a player.
  4. Sweetness As I mentioned, players are all about compliments. You might say it’s their primary language because they tend to overdo it. If a guy is constantly giving you compliments rather than trying to have a meaningful conversation, there’s a good chance he’s a player. They know that buttering up women can sometimes lower their defenses, which is what they want. The problem is most players are quite good at this, so women need to be on alert.
  5. Spontaneousness Sure, spontaneity seems like a good trait, but that’s not always the case. Using this tactic is one way that players always do things on their terms. It might seem spontaneous when he calls you to hang out right now, but it could also mean his other plans fell through. You also shouldn’t be surprised if he cancels at the last minute because something better came up. Sometimes things that may seem like he’s spontaneous are actually him only caring about his own schedule and not yours.
  6. Indecisiveness Players have their own agenda and a big part of that is always keeping their options open. As a result, they always tend to be non-committal. Instead of making firm plans, they’ll say “maybe” you guys can hang out this weekend. Many players say that they’re “open” to a relationship with the right person but not necessarily looking for one. If they seem indecisive about what they want, it could be a carefully orchestrated act to keep things casual.
  7. Secretiveness This shouldn’t be too surprising since most players like to operate covertly. After all, they can’t let on right away that they’re players. A player will talk about himself but he won’t reveal anything too deep or personal. He won’t let you meet his friends and he won’t share much about himself on social media. With a player, you’ll also notice that he guards his phone like Fort Knox, just in case a girl does some snooping and finds the phone numbers to dozens of random girls.
  8. Night owl tendencies Women sometimes treat good morning and goodnight texts from a guy equally. However, good morning texts typically come from good guys while a guy who only sends goodnight texts might be a player. This is because players tend to only operate at night. They’ll send sweet and sexy goodnight texts, but they won’t ask about your day. Players will be “too busy” to hang out with you during the day but more than happy to swing by in the evening. You’ll also find players staying at the bar until last call because that’s how late-night hookups happen.
  9. Forgetfulness To be fair, some guys simply have bad memories. However, a guy that actually likes you will try hard to remember important things that you tell him. Players, on the other hand, are less concerned with such details. They’re in a volume business, so they talk to a lot more women than us good guys who tend to be a little more selective. If a guy is having trouble remembering the details of your last chat or is slow to remember a small inside joke you had, he’s probably a player. They tend to mix up conversations they’ve had with different women, which is why they seem more forgetful than nice guys.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.