9 Ways Only Children Love Differently

Generally speaking, I’ve never minded being an only child, save for a short span of time during my childhood that I was desperate for an older sister. These days, I feel pretty smug when friends tell me about sibling drama and I enjoy the idea of being my parents’ only kid. While we’ve heard how birth order can affect our personalities, when you think about it, it definitely affects our davint lives, too. Here are 9 ways only children love differently:

  1. We like spending time alone. It’s not that we don’t like spending time with you, too, but we grew up having to entertain ourselves and learning to be solo because there were no other kids in our house running around and trying to steal our toys. As only children, we like our alone time, so don’t be offended if we want a few nights off a week to hang out in our apartments watching TV. It’s not you, it’s us (we promise).
  2. If we like you, we really like you. We may even really, really, really like you, in the words of the great Carly Rae Jepsen. Since we’re independent and used to being on our own, it’s a really big deal if we choose you. It means we see you as someone special and think you’re worth pursuing. We’ll never date you just to say we have a boyfriend or to get our relatives to stop asking why we’re single at Christmas dinner.
  3. We can see the wisdom in any situation. Only children are super wise. We have to be – we had to grow up super fast since we were used to spending a lot of time with our parents instead of siblings. Although they totally suck, we can deal with almost relationships and dating rejection because we know that the big picture is what’s really important. If you ghost us after the first date, it’s cool – we can handle it. We get that you’re just not that into us and can wait patiently for someone who is.
  4. We know good things are worth waiting for. Only children are patient. We’re not used to demanding that our parents chip in for the latest toy/book/etc. since our older sisters got one. If we fall in love with you, we appreciate the experience so much because we know we’ve been waiting a long time to meet you.
  5. Nothing is the end of the world. There isn’t a problem that can’t be solved and an opportunity that can’t be grasped. We don’t think in terms of disasters, we’re logical and rational and reasonable – just about any adjective you could think of to describe that we’re pretty calm people. If you have to reschedule a dinner date, we’ll gladly find another time in our calendar (as long as you’re telling the truth, of course).
  6. We spend a lot of time daydreaming. We’re planners who always have life and career goals in mind, and we also have a lot of daily daydreams. This comes from years of having to occupy ourselves. Only children tend to be huge bookworms who have a pretty overactive imagination. If you date us, you can’t laugh when we say we spaced out for an hour at work today wondering what it would have been like to live in the 19th century.
  7. We’re super confident. Without an older brother to watch out for us or a younger sister to compete with, we learned how to stand on our own two feet and stand up for ourselves. If we enter a relationship with you, we’re not interested in making ourselves feel bad. If you treat us badly, we’re out the door.
  8. We want to know everything about you. Everyone is pretty nosy when you think about it, but us only children are extra nosy. If you think we rely on the lives of others for entertainment, you would be right. But we mean well. We’re not gossips, we’re just interested in human nature. If you’re a private person who doesn’t want to open up, you’re probably not the right guy for us.
  9. We don’t need as much attention as you think. Some people seem to think that if you don’t have any brothers or sisters, you need all eyes on you at all times. Not true. We’re totally cool if you don’t text us 24/7 (actually, we’d probably be happier if you didn’t).

We only children may be a rare breed to those of you with tons of siblings, but if you fall for us, we promise it’ll be worth your while.

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.