You can’t eat, sleep or get out of bed, and you wonder how long it will take for this phase to be over. You may not be able to escape the heartache of a breakup altogether, but here’s how you can speed up the process and get back to the real you.
- Don’t bottle up your feelings. Almost everything about today’s culture glorifies burying your emotions and walking around like you’re some untouchable robot. While this new norm seems all good on the surface, it’s the quickest way to stay stagnant after a breakup. You have to allow yourself some time to process what happened and feel every emotion. You wanna cry? Cry. Scream? Do it. Once you let these emotions run their course, you’ll be able to see the relationship for what it was and move forward.
- Get rid of all relationship memorabilia. Maybe you think you’re not ready to stop sleeping in those oversized basketball shorts of his, but you have to let them—and anything else that reminds you of him—go. Holding on to his possessions only hinder your chance of putting this whole thing behind you in a timely way. You don’t have to burn his pictures and clothes, just tuck them away and out of your sight for a while. And while you’re at it, treat yourself to a few new sets of PJs.
- Designate one friend to be the person you vent to. There’s nothing wrong with crying over your ex or wanting to talk to someone about it. In fact, both are encouraged. But what you don’t want to do is become the person that repeatedly tells the same sob story to anyone within an earshot. Sooner or later people are going to get tired of hearing about him and they may even avoid hanging with you altogether. Have one go-to friend to vent about how you feel, then channel Elsa and let it go.
- Get dressed and get out of the house. Although sitting around in your own funk in the dark seems like one of the most appealing things to do post-breakup, don’t do it for more than a few days (OK, a week max). After your allotted time to lick your wounds has passed, take a shower, throw on a cute outfit, and get out of the house. It doesn’t matter where you go—just a few minutes amongst the land of the living will help you get back on track.
- Try something new. Not breaking your normal routine only prolongs the after breakup heartache. To speed up the recovery process, avoid hanging in the old spots and doing the same old things. Now is the time to spread your wings and try something new! It can be something as extreme as skydiving, or something simple yet refreshing like trying hot yoga and meditating. Trying new things helps create new memories and before you know it, old what’s-his-face will be an afterthought.
- Cut all ties with his friends and family. Sure, you’ve bonded a great deal with your ex’s family and friends, but remember that their loyalties lie with him, not you. If there was any animosity or wrongdoing after the breakup, don’t expect his mom to side with you even if your name was on a gift under their family Christmas tree. Instead of wasting time trying to plead your case, bow out gracefully and focus on nurturing relationships with people who care about you.
- Stay off of his social media. Yeah, you blocked him, but you still get updates about his goings-on through your friends who still follow him. Now you and your bestie have morphed into real-life sleuths trying to figure out if he’s in a relationship with the girl who commented heart-eyed emojis under his latest selfie. Do yourself a solid and stop while you’re ahead. Tell your friends to help your progress by not giving you the play-by-play on your ex no matter how much you beg them to.
- Remember what you didn’t like about him. Everything is so pretty in the rose-colored glasses after a breakup. You may find yourself missing those cute little things he used to do or how he held you as you drifted off to sleep at night. How could he break your heart? You were perfect for each other. Except he had a wondering eye or he hated your best friend. Don’t allow the things you liked about him to cloud the fact that maybe he really wasn’t the right person for you.
- Be thankful for it all. Breakups suck, ain’t no way around that, but there is always a lesson to be learned. Maybe you learned what types of behaviors you will and will not tolerate from a significant other. Maybe you realized how strong you are after pulling yourself out of such a hard time. Whatever the lesson may be, be grateful for what it taught you and apply it to your life every day moving forward.
