You’ve been going out with someone for a while and crushing on them and it seems like they like you back, but you find yourself waiting forever for them to text you. You don’t want want to come as desperate or too needy by initiating contact too often but you still want to talk to them. It’s frustrating to say the least. Luckily, there are ways to turn things around and get them to text you first.
- Make yourself less available. Everyone loves a bit of a challenge. Make them work for your attention by not being too quick or eager to talk to them. I’m not saying you should ignore their messages or make them wait a long time for a reply, but make it seem as though you have other things keeping you busy. Let them feel lucky that you’re making the time to talk to them. Don’t be there whenever they want you to be. Even if you’re free, act like you aren’t sometimes.
- Find out how much they like to text. There are people who don’t like texting so much. They either prefer calling or talking in person so they’re often reluctant to initiate conversations via text. They might be willing to indulge in it once in a while for people they really like. In this case, there’s not much you can do beyond being understanding and forging a strong connection with them so they feel more inclined to text you.
- Give them a reason to reach out. It’s not enough that they like you. What are the other reasons they might have to text you first? Do they enjoy talking to you? Do you post interesting things online that they’ll want to see and chat about? They’re more likely to text you first if they see you sharing or doing stuff they like. I mean, who doesn’t like talking about their interests?
- Make every conversation with them count. Don’t be boring. Whenever you see them or get a chance to talk, make it memorable. You want them to be thinking of you after the encounter is over. If you don’t make a good impression on someone, there’ll be no inspiration for them to text you first. Break out your best conversation pieces, make them laugh, ensure that they have fun being or chatting with you. They’ll be eager to hit you up so they can feel that way again.
- Be okay with them not texting you. If you need them to respond to your messages or text first in order to feel good about yourself, you need to get rid of that mindset. Neediness rarely appeals to anyone. You want to radiate confidence with a dash of indifference. Don’t send text after text or long paragraphs to get them to talk to you. They shouldn’t see texting you like a chore or something that requires too much commitment. Don’t complain or make them feel like they’re doing a wicked thing by not texting you.
- Come right out and ask why they never text you first. Sometimes, people are not even aware that they’re doing something or that it’s a problem until you bring it to their attention. They might just be expecting you to text, so they won’t bother to do it first. If you want that to change, call them out on it without being accusatory. You can just let them know that you’re enjoying texting them first but you never know when they might be free and you don’t want to bother them. If they like you and enjoy chatting with you, they’ll remedy the situation.
- Try to end every contact on a high note. If you want someone to text you first, you have to keep them wanting and coming back for more. You want them to see you and your interactions together in a positive light. Be flirty and playful. Sparkle. Leave them thinking highly of you. When you talk, be the one who gets the last word in so you’ll be in control and the task of picking up the thread will fall on them.
- Go at a pace they’re comfortable with. Don’t use up all your best moves at the beginning. Don’t move too fast, start off too strong, and try not to overdo it. A good rule of thumb is to match the energy they’re giving you. There should be some balance in the efforts you’re both making. If they’re obviously trying to take things slow, don’t go in the opposite direction. They’ll text you when they when they want to. Chill and wait.
- Ask them to text you later. If the conversation has died down and you want to kick things up again, just tell them to text you when they’re free so you can ask something. This will leave them wondering what you want to ask them about and if they’re intrigued enough, they’ll text you to find out. You should have an actual question ready for that moment.
