For the perpetually single, starting a new relationship can be more than a little jarring. You flew solo everywhere you went, went to movies alone when the mood struck you and never checked “plus-one” on any invite. Having someone in your life can take some getting used to, no matter how much you’re into him and how thrilled you are with your new coupled-up status. Things are very different in your world, except for one thing: you haven’t changed your usual schedule or routine. Here are a few signs that you may have a boyfriend now, but you’re still living like you’re rolling solo.
- Your Friday nights are still BFF time. Before your relationship status changed on Facebook, you shared stories and fruity cocktails with your friends on Friday evenings at your fave bar. Now that you’ve got a better half, you still do the exact same thing. While there’s nothing wrong with that – you should never ditch your besties for a boy — at a certain point, you have to make your boyfriend a priority, too, if you want the relationship to progress. That means maybe not going out every single Friday so can spend some time with him, too.
- Your travel plans don’t include your boyfriend. Okay, so going on vacation with your significant other might mean fights, but at a certain point, committing to another person means sharing a vacation. He’s going to feel left out if you plan a beach trip with your friend or even your mom instead of him. Maybe you’re worried that any travel snags or issues will ruin your bond, but every couple needs to go on that first trip together at some point, so you might as well start now.
- You never mention him to anyone. A sure sign that we’re in love — besides the cozy feeling we get when we think about or spend time with the object of our affection — is that we tend to talk everyone’s ears off about how amazing it is that we’ve found this person. You’re still acting as if you’re totally unattached if you meet your friends for Sunday brunch and never even think to mention your boyfriend. Don’t talk about him the entire time, of course, unless you want to friends to throw you some seriously dirty looks. But casually mentioning that you guys are marathoning Breaking Mad or that he made an awesome curry the other night is totally okay and to be expected.
- You’re still hung up on your bad dating memories. We’ve all gone on awful dates and lived to tell the sometimes hilarious tales, but if you’re in a good relationship and are still talking about your history of awkward dates, then you might want to ask yourself why you’re still stuck in the past when you have someone now. A great boyfriend is like a free pass to forget that there’s even such a thing as a bad date.
- You haven’t met each other’s friends and fam. You’re not fully committing to this guy unless you make the effort to hang out with his little brother or allow him to meet your parents. Getting to know the people in each other’s lives is one of those steps on the path to a real relationship that matters. His mom might not love you right away (or ever) but that’s just an unfortunate reality of sharing your life with another person.
- You never sleep over at his place and he never stays at yours. A pretty big hallmark of the single life is that you live alone (or with a roomie) and it’s pretty much just you and your TV addiction. Being in a relationship means sleepovers, plain and simple. You may call him your boyfriend, but if you’re not into him sharing your space some nights, then you’re still acting like you’re single.
- You still show up at parties alone. What’s the point of having a boyfriend if you’re not going to bring him to that potentially awkward holiday party that your old college roommate is throwing? Yet many of us resist bringing our new guy into our social worlds. Don’t be afraid to let him in – what if he gets along with everyone famously and it turns out to be an awesome time, after all?
- You have a bunch of backup guys. Single girls have the freedom to date as many guys as they want at the same time. If you’re still texting some guy you met on Tinder before you found your boyfriend, you’re acting totally single when you’re anything but. How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing the same thing?
- You’re afraid to think about the future. If you’re insecure about the relationship or there’s something that’s just not adding up, then of course you wouldn’t want to invest everything you have and would want to keep one foot in the single world. That’s not a fun way to live, so either go all in or get out before anyone gets hurt (which they probably will, anyway).
At some point, you need to decide if you want to be officially solo again or to commit to this guy. So make a choice and you’ll find you’re so much happier because you won’t be caught between two worlds.